Perfection

Anxiety

   •Please take in these words and read it slowly :3 I don't want you to just scan over it since it means much more, and as always, sad music is always recommended!

America winced at the pain in the back of his throat. It stung and felt extremely dry, but he was done. No more of the disgusting food would come out. He stared at the toilet bowl to see the puke and splashes of red mixed together. America then flushed the toilet. It didn't do much, so he did it again. He washed his mouth out, and was oblivious to the smell the bathroom now possessed. Alfred grabbed the door handle, but remembered that England and France were banging on the door. He hesitated and thought that maybe they wouldn't be there anymore, so he opened the door. Alfred looked around cautiously and proceeded to the downstairs. He thought they weren't there anymore until he jumped at the loud voice.

"ALFRED.." England's voice seemed to be worn out. "PLEASE JUST OPEN THIS DOOR."

America stood there and thought about the consequences of opening it or not opening it, but he just couldn't. He knew that England would make him eat, make him return to the fatass he was.

"Please leave.." America said raspy like.

You could hear a pause followed by a yell.

"DO YOU THINK I CAN JUST LEAVE?" England yelled.

"I'm also here Alfred!" France also yelled. "Please open it!"

   America ignored them even though he still felt bad. They'll eventually leave.

"Then will you come to the next meeting? The one in about a couple weeks?"
England yelled through the door.

   "Yes?" America answered in question.

   "Promise me!"

   "I promise! Please leave!" America whined.

   "Ok..I'll leave, but bloody know that if you get any skinnier, I won't ever let you be alone again.." England warned America.

   America silenced, then heard the sound of footsteps slowly disappear.

   He panicked and had no idea what to do anymore. All he wanted to do was lose weight, and he wasn't even that skinny yet. Alfred felt completely horrible and even noticed that his bright blue eyes have started to tear up. He hated the feeling of knowing he messed everything up. Alfred just wanted to die at this point. Everything is too hard in this world, and he hated it.

   America could only think to look at pictures of beautiful people. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket as he sluggishly walked up the stairs. He then noticed he hasn't even weighed himself after eating like a pig, so he got on the scale as a few tears formed in his dull eyes.

147 lbs

America got off the scale in a daze and fell to his knees. He was completely disgusted in himself for being such a fat and horrible human being. Alfred then let tears stream down his face. He made sobbing sounds as he remembered how much England cared, but then how much he wanted to be skinny. He had no idea what to do but to continue to look at the gorgeous bodies through his blurry vision. They all looked great, and America still yearned for such a body, but his heart still hurt. It hurt so bad. Thinking of England just made it hurt more, and he really didn't want to deal with anything anymore. He wanted to be gone, away from the troubles.

His now sweaty palms shook in fear and panic. Alfred couldn't think straight at all, and his face made such a pained and sad expression as tears streamed down his swollen face. His dull blue eyes looked like they saw something scarring. He really couldn't handle it.

He scooted his back to the wall in a state of panic and tried to stop his salty tears, but nothing would work for him. Alfred felt as if his heart was beating fast enough to pop out of his chest. Everything was going too fast and he didn't know what was going on. He eventually slid down on the wall to his side. The floor was a cold tile that America laid on, and it felt nice.

After so much panic, Alfred was able to finally cry himself asleep on the cold tile.

~

Alfred woke to a shine on his face. The sun shined brightly through the blinds of the bathroom window.

America didn't say a word. He remembered what happened, and still felt the horrible pain and guilt. He even felt more tears start to form, which he quickly tried wiping away to discover that his face was stained with dry tears. Alfred still felt extremely depressed and didn't want to breath anymore. He closed his eyes again and hoped to disappear.

~

England made a swift glance at America's seat next to him. He felt extreme anxiety and got a bit frustrated at the same time. He was at the world meeting, and was waiting for Alfred.

He promised...

England saw people coming in one by one, but never saw the blues eyes and dirty blond hair he wanted to. His heart filled with guilt and started to beat harder than before.

   He became very nervous and took out his phone before the meeting started. England texted America several times to never see one response. Then he also texted France to see if he knew anything. He also managed to get Canada's number and asked if he knew anything about his poor brother, but all England did was worry him because he knew nothing.

   I knew I shouldn't have let him be...

   England couldn't take this. He didn't know if he was ok, and the meeting is starting. America was never late.

   The worried and angered blond stood up abruptly to where his chair scooted back to make a hateful screech. Everyone looked at him in question, but France turned his head down and covered half of his face with his hand, then sighed. He too, was extremely paranoid.

   "What are you doing? The meeting just started, but actually, does anyone know where  America is?" Germany spoke loudly.

   England walked at a fast pace towards the door with France also getting up to follow him. Then, everyone noticed that Canada was here, and also followed them.

   "Where are you guys going?" Germany demanded.

   "I'm checking on America.." England said as he left the door with France and Canada behind.

   Everyone was left in a confused state and didn't know whether to continue the meeting or not.

   But on the other hand, England drove fast as he can to America's with France and Canada with him.

   Please be ok...

  Sorry if this is bad :I I tried to do it quick to finish it today. And before anyone asks, America did go to the bathroom in the toilet when he had to, and did not stay on the floor for 2 whole weeks without going to the bathroom. Also tell me if you see mistakes and stuff, and actually, I would like to see comments for what you think might happen next or something, and Merry Christmas! :3