Sometimes It's Hard (Dan and Phil Phanfiction)

Getting Better, For Me

**This chapter is super fuckin' short

heeheehee. Sorry if I don't get Phil's weight right I don't understand men's weight ok I looked it up and one was like 230 is healthy and another was like 170 so I just guessed sorry if im so bad at this what k bye)

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Phil's POV

Dan has been doing much better. He is back to t-shirts, panic attacks down to about one a week, and no more stuttering. He was eating just fine again, which made me so happy.

"How are you today Bear?"

"I'm great, actually." Dan said, smiling and kissing me on the cheek. "How are you? I never seem to ask you."

I actually have been feeling horrible about myself recently. Everything about my body is wrong. I don't know when it all started. I just looked in the mirror one day and noticed every flaw about myself. I wasn't going to tell Dan, because he already has too much on his mind. "I'm great too." I replied, hoping he wouldn't catch the lie. I look back at him and he has a look of suspicion on his face. 

"Are you sure?" I was close to telling him how I felt, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. 

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Okay." Dan said, smiling at me. 

Later that night we made pizza for dinner and watched movies on the couch. I couldn't let myself eat more than one slice, which Dan had his usual 4, which left 3 for me.

"Are you going to eat that?" Dan said, looking at me, concerned showing in his face. I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. 

"Uhm, no, not right now."

"Why not?" Shit.

"Because, uhm, I'm just not that hungry right now. Not feeling to well." I said, snuggling up closer to Dan and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Okay." Dan said, seeming to believe me. I mean, it was getting cold out which means I would be prone to getting sick, just as a lot of humans do. "Do you want me to put it in the fridge so you can heat it up later if you want it?"

Just to reassure him, I decided to go along with it. "Yeah, sure." Even later that night, we were heading off to bed. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and looked at the cupboard. I remembered that I had hidden the scale in there so Dan wouldn't find it while he was going through his rough times, and I took it out. I weighed myself.

210 (15 stone)

Gross... I set a goal for myself. 150 (about 10 stone). All I would have to do is skip a few meals, and I'll be fine.

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Super short chapter. I have a huge concert tomorrow and its 3 am and Im tired soooo... Ill update real soon. The next chapter wont be fluff, but the one after that will be, so look forward to that!