Wrong Impression

25. Wrong Impression

Angie thought she could handle it. After Tom turned his back on her and left, his final words ringing in her ears, she thought she could suck it up, get her books, and head for class, even if she was late.

Her shaking hands had other things in mind. She opened her locker, but instead of pulling out her chemistry books, she took everything out and stuffed them in her backpack. Then, her feet decided it was a good idea to head for the back exit.

She didn't really care. School was the last thing on her mind. But it was weird to witness her body moving on its own, without her brain to guide it. She felt like she was floating somewhere above, watching herself walk out of school.

The moment she stepped out, rain pelted heavily on her. Rian. It was finally raining. She lifted her head and looked at the sky. The storm clouds were still there, lead grey with shades of pink. Lightning flashed and thunder rolled.

And in that moment, the clouds were her. Her life, her feelings. She was nothing but a grey rumbling mess, the streaks of pink the only traces of her former self, the little bit of control she had left. The lighting was the anger, coming and going in a flash. And the thunder was the sound of her breaking heart.

In a matter of minutes, she was drenched to the bone, but it didn't matter. The rain could maybe wash away the pain, the anger, the hurt. The shame.

Her feet moved again, towards the bus station this time. She didn't look left or right, merely concentrated on the splashing tears on the ground. Whether it was the rain or her own tears, she didn't know nor care. It could wait. Everything could wait. For what, she wasn't sure.

She reached Kay's place and headed for her room quietly. Cassandra and Jonah were in the kitchen, arguing about something. She bypassed them and climbed the stairs. Once tucked inside her sanctuary, she dropped her backpack and decided to get started on some homework.

Once again, her hands had other plans. They pulled her suitcase out from under her bed and filled it with her meager belongings. Once again, Angie stood back and watched. She scribbled a short note for Kay, thanking her and her parents for their hospitality, then left the house.

It was bliss, walking in the rain without thought or feeling. It felt like nothing could touch her, hurt her, because she wasn't real. She was nothing. She was safe.

But when she settled into her seat and the train left the station, her body had nothing left to do. And her mind. Her mind took over, bringing with it a whirlwind of pain and rage. Shame. Because despite everything, what tormented her most was her mistake.

You're an orphan. That's who you are. It defines you.

It had come out so wrong. That wasn't what she meant. She'd wanted to say it was a part of him, that he shouldn't hide it, shouldn't be ashamed of it. He should embrace it and be proud of what he'd managed to achieve. Because Tom's life was much shittier than hers. She had a loving family. He had nothing. And she'd practically thrown it in his face.

Which was inexcusable because it made her the bad guy. Not him, the heartbreaker player. Her, the insensitive bitch.

Her eyes had finally had enough and started leaking, covering the front of her shirt in salty petals. She didn't even know why she was crying, because she couldn't feel anything. She knew the feelings were there, but she was so shocked, so numb, she felt like a ghost among the living.

What has he done to you? How could he break her so badly? So quickly.

Angie, I lo--

No! It was a lie! Everything he said was a lie to catch her, reel her in. He'd studied her, seen her weakness, said all the right things, did the right things. Appeared caring and honest and oh so attentive to her needs. Just to mess her up. Just to use her and add her name to a list of hundreds of others and give her a damn score. And he did it so well.