Permanently Gone (AHS Tate Langdon)

Better

Tates P.O.V:

I sat criss cross on the floor in her room and watched her sit on her bed drawing in her journal. She couldn't see me, I knew that much. It suddenly dawned on me. Why'd she want to know about me? I liked the arrangement we had. Just talking bout her and silently watching movies. I didn't blame her though. She had this picture in her head that I was a normal guy. But I wasn't and I knew I'd never be. So maybe it was best for me just to let her believe that I was good and normal.

I began pulling on my sweater nervously. Looking down I focused on the thread that hung loosely.

"I was born in the year 1976." I said freely knowing she couldn't hear me. I looked up at her and smiled to myself as she continued to sketch so fiercely, my words having no meaning to her. But this is how I could tell her. Sure she wouldn't know I was talking but I was talking to her all the same. I went back to playing with the thread from my sweater. "My dad-" I frowned. "Left us when I was six. Six years old." I said as I stood up and moved to sit next to her on the bed.

"Growing up my idol was Kurt Cobain. I was obsessed! " I slightly chuckled glancing back to her. I felt my heart sink. "You know, Alice, if you really knew me and what I've done..you wouldn't be here. " I whispered. I paused thinking to myself. "I feel like an outcast half the time. It's hard ya know?" She didn't respond as she hummed the song 21 guns under her breath. I sadly smiled at her innocents.

"But we're all outcast aren't we? In our own ways." I sighed out laying back on the bed crossing my arms behind my head. "I've done shit. I've done a lot of.. Bad shit Alice. " I muttered as I bit my bottom lip. "And I think I'm finally coming to copes with who I am and what I've done. A psychopath. But there's a path all the same, right?" I whispered.

"Well anyway, after my dad left I started drugs." I said closing my eyes. "Cocaine mostly. But usually whatever I could get my hands on. Then came the terrible habit of cutting. Sadly you came across that too huh?" I chuckled lightly. "My mom, was a whore. She slept with anyone and everyone. Ignored my existence half the time. Ignored me and my three other siblings."

"The thing is Alice. I don't remember what happened to me. I mean I don't remember why I did it. " I whispered feeling anger rise in me. "God! What the fuck is wrong with me? The drugs, the loneliness, I just.. Snapped!" I felt my voice rise.

"I was high and angry and I-I had guns. So many guns. I don't even remember where I got them!" I felt tears sting my eyes as I spoke. I felt disgusted with myself. Angry even. "Those poor kids. " I sobbed.

"They had so much going for them. They had so much to live for and I shot them. I didn't even know them." My breath came out ragged as I cried. "Maybe I was just jealous of what they had! I never really fit in. Maybe I did it for no fucking reason!" I thought of it all. "I'm a screwed up mess. And violet. Her family. It was my fault. That gay couple. I can't help but cause destruction everywhere and pain."

I took a deep breath in attempting to calm down. I sat up right and faced Alice.

I studied her. Her face elegant and soft. Her hair perfectly flowing down her back. And her eyes.. Damn. I could get lost in them. And trust me I'd prefer to get lost in her eyes rather than my own sick twisted mind. She had so much beauty in her. Then I glanced down to her bare wrist and those old scars.

"I used to think that there was some Place better. some where out there..But I'm trapped here. Maybe this is. Hell. " I sighed out. "I can't help who I am. But, I swear to god, I don't want to hurt you." I shut my eyes.

"Funny thing is.." I whispered smiling to myself. "I just can't stay away from you. Everyone here hates me. But not you. Your all I have." I said turning to look at her.

I thought about her. Her loneliness and her problems. Her wrist. And the almost over dose she tried. I realized that she was a lot like me. But better.... Better in a way.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door down stairs. I watched as she got up and retreated down stairs.

Alice P.O.V:

If there was one thing I hated about this house, it was the massive silence that came with it. Desperate to fill the quiet void I hummed the song twenty one guns under my breath.

My attention shot up as I heard a knock on the door. Is it Tate? I wondered. I got up and rushed down stairs.

"Oh violet hi." I said as I opened the door trying to hide the disappointment.

"Hey." She said as she took a puff of a cigarette in her hand. "What's up?"

"Um nothing really. " I sighed. There was an awkward pause.

"Can I come in?" She asked abruptly.

I bit my lip debating it. "Sure." I said pressing my lips into a thin line and widening the door for her to come in.

She threw her cigarette on the porch and strode in. "This is really a great place. " she said her eyes wandering over it all.

"Thanks I guess." I chuckled nervously.

We went into the living room and sat on the couch.

"So you and Tate used to date huh?" I asked needing to know.

"Yeah." She shook her head. "We did." There was a glint of hatred in her eye.

"Oh. Ok." I awkwardly mumbled.

"Why?" She furrowed her brows. "Do you like him?" She asked intently.

"Uh no. " I lied. Her question replayed once more in my head ...Did I like him?

"Trust me when I say this. He's not a good person. Stay away from him." She rolled her eyes.

I thought for a second. About what she said. But I just couldn't believe that. Tate seemed so sweet and lovable. But he also seemed ...lost?

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"He's just done a lot of shit." She shook her head and bit her lip.

"Like what?" I asked tilting my head and listening.

She glanced at me then across the room. I turned my head confused to what she was looking at but saw nothing. She smirked. And something about her smirk seemed ... Evil.

She cleared her throat and looked at me. " it's not my business to say. And , I mean, I can't really say." She mumbled.

"Why?" I asked puzzled.

She clenched her teeth. "I just can't ok? Listen just know I'm doing you a damn favor by telling you to stay away." Her voice was firm.

"Ok.." I mumbled.

"Sorry. Listen I've got to go." She muttered. I stood up to walk her to the door but she was swift and quick and beat me to it.

When she left the house was once again quiet and my thoughts clouded my brain..

Violets P.O.V:

After speaking with Alice I retreated to the room that was my dads old office. It was my favorite room in the house. Obviously I couldn't stay in my old room or the basement because Tate was usually in one if those. But I didn't care I never liked the basement and my room was shit.

I sat down on the small sofa next to my dad.

"So is she gonna stay away from him? " he asked.

"She better. It's what's best for her. " my mom chimed in as she suddenly appeared.

"Yeah I think she's getting the idea about him. She's getting kinda anxious not knowing about him too." I replied.

"I still think we need to get them to move out.." My mom trailed off as she sat next to my dad.

"I know mom. But this is there home. And we shouldn't have to make them run." I huffed out.

"There's just something about this house. Not the people in it. Just the house itself that..." She trailed off. " I don't know." She shook her head.

"What ever it is, we won't let anything happen to this family. " my dad said.

I nodded.