Harrison Avenue // H.S.

Baby

[Harry]

I didn't fall in love with Ellison all at once. It wasn't an immediate thing.

My love for her is true, and deep, and all consuming, but it wasn't love at first sight. It could possibly be labeled as entirely enamored at first sight, because let's face it, she quickly had a grip on me... within the first few seconds actually. But it took time to fall in love with her.

I have fallen in love all at once though... and now I do believe in love at first sight. I didn't before but that was because before was before I saw my daughter for the first time. And that love is true, and deep, and all consuming... and also immediate, like there's this bolt of new energy in me, the new love pushing in to make more space in my heart for this little person who just made her way into the world.

That love was immediate.

I think it happened for Elle and me at the same time. I saw it in her eyes just as much as I felt it pulsing through the room. We were both in love, only this time it wasn't the love between the two of us. It went far beyond that. We brought this new life into the world and she was already radiant and beautiful and happy, and I'm not sure I've ever felt more proud of something in my life.

And I've seen Ellison cry before but this was different.

Her name is Dylanne Gertrude Styles. She was born at ten forty-seven in the morning of October seventh and she's healthy with baby toes and a baby nose. Absolutely perfect.

The name developed from many conversations between Elle and me. We chose Dylanne because Elle insisted on some tribute to Bob Dylan with the significance that is so intertwined in so much of us, but the change to Anne was with thoughts of my mum. Her middle name, Gertrude, is in honor of Gerdy for obvious reasons, plus, Elle wanted to keep the tradition of old lady names going in some form. And Styles is because of me.

Her name feels like this perfect mix of Ellison and me, and that's exactly who she is.

Dylanne is three and a half weeks old now and I swear she's twice as big now as she was when she was first born. Her hair is dark and thick, her hands are still tiny and I've lost track of the amount of times she's smiled her toothless, gummy, smile. She likes it when I sing... sometimes it makes her sleepy, other times her eyes get really wide and she'll wave her arms around in a way that Elle and I have decided is her version of dancing. She sleeps constantly and she fills her nappy with almost the same constant frequency, but I practiced changing nappies for months before she was born so I'm an expert at that.

Elle and I are major rookies in this game and while we've avoided anything disastrous I'm fairly certain we both feel like we have no idea what we're doing seventy-five percent of the time. We're making it work though and my mum was with us for the first two weeks that Dylanne was home and that was a tremendous help. Because unlike and Elle and me... she's done this before.

It's been baby, baby, baby for weeks now with barely any other thoughts having a chance to hold any ground in my mind. I've put nearly everything with an exception Ellison on the backburner because this time feels important and it will only last a short period of time before something else new and wonderful works its way into my daily routine.

So it's actually baby, baby, baby, Ellison, baby and more Ellison. Because I have two girls in my life now and I don't have any plans to neglect the first one who caught my attention.

I'm pretty sure I love Elle more now than I ever have.

Elle and I are fortunate enough to have careers that can alter around personal obligations if need be and we've both done that somewhat indefinitely. She's been painting still but because of Dylanne and the need for a nursery her flat studio has been moved to a new location, which she says she likes because it's a reason to get out of our place but I know it isn't as easy for her to start new art since it requires a half hour walk to get to a place to do that. I purposefully scheduled the tour I was on to finish a month before the due date, and an extended break was well deserved considering I've been on the road for a large portion of the last two years.