promised - kim namjoon

fourteen

When it's ten o' clock, and Namjoon has went to three of his classes, he decided to go back to his room and rest. He's been feeling groggy all morning, his mouth dry and his eyes red. The weather is somewhat warm today, but Namjoon still wore a red hoodie, because of how cold he felt.

The pain was going to come eventually, probably during this week or the next. He's already warned Taehyung to steer clear of him for the days following his terrible moment of agony (it took a while though, since Taehyung wanted to stay and help). He's cleaned his room, in case for some reason he feels onto the floor instead of his bed, he'll be away from anything remotely damaged. He's also been drinking a lot of water, in order to keep his body hydrated due to the fact that he sweats a lot when the pain occurs and he can't risk being overly dehydrated.

He should've stayed closer to his family, closer to people who understood the pain Namjoon went through and closer to people who knew how to help. He's not saying he isn't thankful for Taehyung always being there for him, but he'd rather have someone like his mother support him. Taehyung promising to give Namjoon a granola bar every hour wasn't exactly the kind of aid that Namjoon was hoping for. 

"Namjoon-ah!" 

Namjoon stopped walking, pulling his bag up his shoulders a bit before turning to see who the voice belonged to.

Tsai came running down the hallway, catching Namjoon by surprise. He pushed his round glasses up against his nose as he watched Tsai, sporting a grey sweatshirt and black pants, coming towards him.

"Hi," Tsai muttered. Short but sweet. It still made Namjoon's heart flutter all the same.

"Hi," Namjoon mumbled, his throat dry. He desperately needed water. 

"I haven't seen you in a while," Tsai mentioned, "how have you been?" 

Namjoon smiled a little. It made him happy that Tsai still worried about him. "I'm doing okay, just feeling a little ill." 

"Do you have a cold?"

"I think so." 

Tsai nodded, a small pout on her lips. "Where are you going now?" 

"To my room," Namjoon answered, "I have four hours before my next lecture." 

"Can I walk with you? I'm going back to my dorm, too."

"Of course." 

Namjoon and Tsai began walking, Namjoon trying his hardest not to smile. He was so giddy and it was terrible, considering that the reason of his happiness was right next to him.

"What is the meaning of life?" Tsai suddenly questioned Namjoon, making him laugh out loud.

"That's such an over-asked question, Tsai, and has no answer," Namjoon answered.

"Isn't that how philosophy works, Namjoon?" Tsai smirked, "You ask questions that don't have a definite answer, and you come up with the most logical one. So, Kim Namjoon, what's the meaning of life?"

Namjoon chuckled softly, thinking for a moment before answering: "Preparation." 

"Explain, Namjoon, how can you make a theory with no evidence?" Tsai teased.

"We are on this planet to live, and to grow, to blossom, to prepare us for the afterlife. We're here to ask questions, to test our beliefs and our limits, to the point that we're so done that we're ready to move on to something new."

"And what if there's no afterlife, Namjoon?" Tsai asked. "What if we push our limits and test our theories and grow to have waiting for us when we die?"

Namjoon smiled, loving how Tsai always pushed his thinking. "Then, at least we can die knowing we took those risks and we tested our theories and we fell deep in love and cried because of the heartbreak. And at least we can die knowing what anger felt like, and what's it's like to cry tears of joy and and what's it like to succeed at something. We'll always have those things to hold onto." 

Tsai loved how wise Namjoon was.

Namjoon loved how wise Tsai was.

"Any other questions?" Namjoon asked.

"Nope, that's all for today. I'll bother you with more questions when I think them up." 

Tsai listened to Namjoon's laugh again, how loud and deep it was. "I missed talking with you, you always open my eyes to different perspectives."

"It's why I'm here, Tsai," Namjoon smiled, "do you want to get some coffee later?"

"How about tomorrow morning?" Tsai offered. "I have lunch with a friend later and Taehyung wanted to speak to me later tonight."

Namjoon feels a sudden stab of pain in his chest and he gasps, pressing his palm to his chest as his eyes widen. 

Tsai stops, holding on Namjoon's arm. "Namjoon, are you okay?"

"H-Heartburn," Namjoon lied, before removing his hand and taking a deep breath. "I would like to have coffee tomorrow. I'll come and get you around 9, sound good?"

"Yeah, that's great," Tsai smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow." With that, Tsai walks away, going down another hallway.

Namjoon walked away in the other direction, pressing his hand against his chest when he realized the burning was still there. His chest ached even more than earlier, and he just wanted to drink some ice cold water and take a quick nap. 

Namjoon closed his eyes for a moment, before pulling out his phone and sending a text to Taehyung. 

"Don't fuck up tonight."