Forever

Chapter 20

"Have you two met before?" asked my therapist once the mysterious girl left.

"No. Why?"

"You just seemed as if you had interacted at one point prior to this occasion. Forgive me for misreading the situation," he said in a voice that sounded slightly confused, though mostly calculating. "Anyway, how have you been? I hear you and Justin seem to be getting along quite well."

"One would hope, seeing as he's my boyfriend," I mumbled under my breath too low for him to hear. Then in a louder, less sarcastic tone, "Yeah, I really missed him."

"Well let's hope we can find a way to make your visits more frequent today," he said, knowing this statement would bring me joy.

"Really? But it's only our second session!" I said ecstatically, my cheeks hurting from the extremity to which I was beaming.

"Well, if we can get enough done today, we'll see what I can do," Marc said kindly with a knowing smile on his face.

"Okay, the where do we start," I say, understanding this was a complete bribe but I didn't care.

"Alright, how have you been eating recently?" he asked me.

"You do know I'm underweight because my father starved me, not because I have an eating disorder, right?" I questioned unsurely.

"Yes, but still, you are underweight, and you've been here for a while. I hear Justin may be being discharged soon, and I assume you would want to leave with him, correct?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, just loudly enough for him to hear.

"Taking no note of my attitude towards him, he continued, "Well you will only be permitted to leave when you have gained an appropriate amount of weight, and you are..." he paused, checking a sheet he had on his clipboard, just under the notepaper, "... still 9.4 pounds underweight."

"That can't be right. I've been eating shitloads of food the entire time I've been here!" I exclaimed.

"Well, you were severely underweight when you were brought here. I believe it was around 25 pounds below average –– you would have died had we found you even a week later.

"I had plenty to eat with Pattie. I'll keep eating. You can fucking watch me eat. Besides, I have improved since I got here –– I gained, what, fifteen pounds?!" I exclaimed, my voice rising and getting angrier with every word I said.

"You're right. You have done very well, and, provided you keep gaining at a steady rate, I might be able to talk to your doctor and see what we can do." I nodded, looking at the ground, still calming myself down with deep, slow breaths from my tantrum.

"Now, we have more progress to make than your weight. How have you been feeling? Really tell me, I'm here to help in any way I can."

The rest of the session was me answering questions in a monotonous voice, talking about boredom and what I do in my free time. When the dreadful hour was finally over, I walked down the drab halls and reached my room, ready to spend yet another day watching television or reading another book from the small library they had filled with genres to fit everyone's likes.

Before I had the chance even to pick up my book after sitting down on the rough bed, my eyes drifted shut and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

"Good morning, Emily." I was awoken by the familiar sound of a nurse wheeling a cart into my room to check my counts. "Pretty exciting day, huh?" she asked, attempting to make conversation with the exhausted teenager who sat in front of her.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confusedly, rubbing my eyes to try and wake myself up a bit.

"You're going home today," she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, a fact I should already know.

"What? Really?" I asked, fully awake and peppy now.

"Yes. Marc -- Mr. Watzer," she stumbled at this point, unsure of how to address my therapist, "has informed your doctor that you are safe to go home as long as you keep coming in for regular check-ins to make sure you gain and maintain a healthy weight."

"Okay," I agreed, slightly confused, as this was all happening very fast in the early hours of the morning. "Hey, just one question – what do you mean by home?"

"Well, we're hoping you would go back to your lodging prior to your admission to the hospital," I was informed by the nurse who looked slightly perturbed by this question as if it should be obvious and she had a slight inclination to check for brain damage.

"Pattie? Is Justin being discharged too?" I asked hopefully.

"In a few days, yes. Would you be able to call her and ask? Unless there is another safe home you can go to?"

"Oh," I said, slightly disappointed, "Umm, yeah, can I go see Justin? I don't have her phone number."

"Of course, I'll inform you when he wakes up," the nurse says, then as she leaves, "You might want to start packing, hon."

I picked up my duffel bag and started misguidedly throwing clothes into it. Once I had completed my task of packing I sat down on my bed adjusting it to the preferred position: raised back and leg area slightly down almost as if I were sitting in a recliner rather than a bed. I propped pillows behind the small of my back to achieve the most comfort possible in such an uncomfortable place. I switched on the television and turned on Food Network, letting my eyes wander as I watched the episode of Chopped.

I hadn't noticed myself drift off until I drifted awake to the warmth of another body lying next to mine, his arm around my torso and soft breath against my neck.

"Justin, are you awake?" I asked softly, gathering that he may have drifted off while waiting for me to wake up.

"Yeah I'm awake. How was your nap?" he asked kindly.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep but it was nice, I guess," I informed him, then asked, "How long were you lying here for?"

"Not long don't worry, but you're cute when you sleep, by the way. Have I ever told you that?" he uttered quietly to my freshly woken ears, adding, "You snore a little bit, it's cute."

"I do not snore!" I defended myself though understanding that he would probably know better than I.

"Trust me you do, but it's adorable."

"Whatever," I said changing the subject, though a minute smile occupied my face as I turned away, "What's your mom's phone number, I need to call her to see if she'll have me at your house without you being there. I don't really have anywhere else to go, otherwise I wouldn't put her in that position," I asked before explaining myself in a hurried fashion.

"Don't worry, the nurse already told me and I texted her. She says she'd love to have you and that she'll pick you up when she gets out of work — so in about an hour or two."

"Your mother is a lifesaver," I exclaimed, then rolled over to peck his lips then resting my head on his shoulder just below his collarbone, a light smile resting on my lips. My right arm extended onto his abdomen and my left lay on his shoulder just above my head, my hand gently cradling his head. His arm was wrapped around me extending from above my left shoulder — the side I was lying on — to my right hip bone. His left hand was rested on my right, his thumb rubbing gently up and down.