My book of random

B-O-R-E-D

I am bored.
I am so bored.
Ew my dad just farted 😒
I heard it
I am ridiculously bored and I should be sleeping but I'm too bored to sleep
I have nothing to do.
The internet is boring right now
There's nothing to do
Gahh
No notifications to sort out
No texts to be answered
No video games to play
No books to read
No crap to eat
My cats outside
My family is sleeping
It's too hot in here
Mozzies suck
So does being bored
What do people even do when they're bored??
The only people I know are awake are the 'cool' kids in my class and it would just be creepy if I texted them
Have you ever been so tired that you've dropped your phone on your face?
I have 😢
It hurt
My nose got squashed and my lip swelled
I have a mild skin condition
So whenever I scratched or abraise myself on something, I get welts there. Or are they hives?
Aren't hives supposed to be itchy?
Either ways
It's a real pain in the ass 😒
I've had the condition since halfway through year 6
And I've just finished yr 9
So what's that... 3 1/2 years now?
Apparently it can last up to 5 years
It's a common thing too

I hate the letter p
If it's more than twice in a word I wince
Wince/cringe/die internally
One word in particular, but I can't bring myself to say it. Eww.

Hey hey look my besties texting me now.
Something about a really hot guy she saw today
She kinda has a boyfriend already tho, so she can't call dibs
Apparently he's- 😱 😱
She knows who my ex-crush likes now and she's not telling me 😱
Why would he tell her..........? I feel betrayed- uh oh bestie fight 😰
This is a problem... wait I think we might be good now...?
Stupid boys.
Any guys reading this I definitely don't mean you but one boy in particular that is so bloody confusing I think I hate him but I don't and argh I don't know
Prepare for a girly rant now people

Okay so
I liked this guy
Let's call him... hmm let's see... gabe. Let's call him gabe.
So, I liked this guy Gabe.
Somehow word got back to him that I liked him, and he made it clear for all intensive purposes that he liked me back.
One night after youth we were walking and it was cold and he used a cheesy pickup line on me and held my hand and omg I couldn't sleep I was so happy.
Then he ghosted me for a week.
That really made me doubt myself.
I asked him about it finally, and what did he say? He said, and I quote, 'mistakes were made that night'.
That was heartbreaking. I was absolutely shattered.
After a good night of crying my poor little heart out, I made a full recovery, put whatever we had behind me and moved on with my life.
There was still a hint of attraction for him, but was then crushing on another guy so it wasn't a problem.
We would chat (gabe and I) about all sorts of things just like normal friends, and we would ask each other many many things that in retrospect, shouldn't have been shared, but still, they were said in confidence and I sure as hell won't tell anyone, except if he does, but he won't, because the dirt he has on me will just mess up my hair; the dirt I have on him is enough to bury him.
Anyways, we trusted each other with this really deep stuff, but apparently my trust in him was interpreted differently because he began to think that I still liked him even though I had made it perfectly clear I was I've and done with him.
He would act all weird around me, avoiding me and sometimes straight up ignoring me, even with things as simple as my question about a plain old book character because gabe is a stubborn jerk who is so prone to his own fantasies that he will not accept reality
Sooner or later, I confronted him about how he thought that I still liked him and made it so so perfectly crystal clear that I do not like him at all except as a good friend (but now he is more of an acquaintance)
We fought and he rolled in the mud and shot some really low blows at me, which hurt like a bitch but again, I got over it and I think he got over himself a little and said that we were friends again, but he still acts all awkward around me and that kills me
So now I find that my best, let's call her Madeleine, is like super close with him like 🤞🏻 that and I know this sounds pathetic for me to be acting like this over but he starts conversations with her on a regular basis and he never ever texts me first and rarely gets back to me at all, then when he does he'll tell me oh sorry gtg *excuse* but then keeps on chatting to maddy, which naturally really gets on my nerves cos he's lying to me face and betraying my trust and then stealing my bestie and getting her to keep secrets from me which besties don't do and then I asked Maddy not to tell to him anymore because I'm feeling really threatened and yes I know I sound like such a jealous bitch but I'm ahold and sometimes girls act like that so shut up alright.
I'm sorry gahh this is so frustrating
So she's refusing to ignore him which really hurts me because we've known each other for our whole lives and I do so much for her and if she can't do this for me that's really saying something
Omg I sound so possessive and controlling and like such an awful person 😭 😭
I just don't know who to trust anymore 😰😖

How did this update lead to this?? I have no idea but it's bloody 1:30 nearly and my emotions are all riled up and I need a good cry so I'll just go now and if you have any advice or thoughts or ANYTHING please comment or pm me or whatever 😞
G'night
*hugs for Sonia 💖*