pardon me//phan au

two - "show me!"

"oh hey dan", caspar smiles at me as i plop myself down on the bench. louise had narrow eyes and she looked me up and down. did she notice something was off? oh no.

"say, why are you wearing a colourful jacket?", she says slowly, taking a bite out of her food, still keeping eye contact with me. caspar just watched silently, i could tell he was interested.

"the--uh.. y-you don't know anything about me", i shrug and cross my arms trying to play it cool. i looked at louise and she still didn't give up on interrogating me.

"m-m-maybe, i wanted a ... a change of style! you don't kn-know about my interests, psh...", my face falls flat as i end my sentence. i really hope that was convincing because goddammit it better have i can't keep going on like this.

"open up your sleeves", she said bluntly. caspar's eyes widened at louise's statement. oh no, i can't show them the name, i don't want anybody to know about it! what if they look at me weird, i didn't expect it so soon, i--

"go on! what's taking you so long?". shit, she's really intimidating when she's like that. caspar just slid down the bench and tried to get away from the silent flame war between me and louise.

"u-uh, s-sure.. i d-don't know why i was s-so hesitant to p-pull up my sleeves... it's not like i h-have anything to hide". i hate that i'm stuttering my sentences, this isn't like me at all! my hands were shaking as i moved them up to my left wrist. my fingers gripped the soft fabric and slowly pulled it down.

"oh, hey dan!", another voice erupted from the corner of my eye. oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. i don't wanna do this in front of him! he's going to see and he's gonna look at me weird. what if he doesn't have my name on his wrist?? there's a high possibility of it, it's one of the flaws of the whole 'the name' phenomenon.

"what's going on here?", phil asked as he tilted his head to the side. ugh, can he stop being so cute for once? goddammit. and louise better not answer that question or else i will personally call satan and ask to give her a special place.

"oh, he's just showing us his wr--", louise was about to give away my plans and i was gonna actually go with the satan plan until caspar just moved his hand over louise's mouth to save me. goddamn, i really am helpless and i need help from everyone.

"could i stay and do whatever you do?", phil was so nice to my friends but he came at the wrong time to hang out with me, ugh. i think the coast is clear to put my sleeves back down and hopefully they forget whatever i was doing.

"uh!", caspar looked like he was panicking... for what? "today's a bad time? dan was going to show us something and he prefers to do it privately". oh my god, thank you caspar. he really has my back.

"oh", phil looked disappointed. ow, do you hear that? that's my heart breaking a little because of phil's face and how sad he looks. does he feel unwanted? that is not the case!

"well, i'll see you at the bus stop dan!", phil waves at me and mustered up a smile. the way he can just bring himself up like that is admirable... *sigh*... phil proceeded to walk away and join his other friends. i looked back at caspar and louise, caspar let go of louise's mouth and she struggled to get air.

"alright! he's gone now! show us!!", louise seemed impatient by the amount of things coming up interrupting my actions. i nodded and took a deep breath. i pulled down my sleeve and their eyes widened.

"you have the--", caspar seemed to be awestruck.

"AHA! i knew it!! you got the name!", louise said loudly, i swear to god if she doesn't quiet down..! my face instantly got red from embarrassment.

"hey! people will hear you!", caspar glared at louise. goddamn, she's really excited for me to have the name, what great friends. louise seemed irritated but she seemed to understand the gestures.

"okay, fine", she huffed, "at least show me who the name is!", louise moved closer to get a better look, her eyes widened and she was shocked at who was on my wrist.

"oh my god!! does phil know?", caspar asked, aghast by the fact that i had gotten the name this soon. i wonder why it's surprising to have the name at this age, it's not that young. i may be 18 but many people find their 'soulmate' before 21, so i think i'm good.

[ author - just saying phil is the same age as dan in this story, just 6 months older :)) ]

i looked over to where phil was sitting, he seemed upset. why was he upset? was something wrong...? .. a boy with curly brown hair and a beanie looked to be making a conversation with another guy with dark brown hair and phil was laughing soon enough.

i shook my head at caspar in disappointment.

"i can't bring myself to tell him, there's a high possibility his wrist doesn't say the same as mine...", i dismally sighed. louise patted my back and frowned.

"don't be sad about it, i'm sure he'll have your name, and even though you two haven't really talked, i can sense you two being a cute couple", louise comforted me with kind words. i hope she's right, i really don't want to die alone or date someone that doesn't love me back...

i looked back again at phil and his group of friends. he always wears the navy blue school blazer... and his sleeves are always down... he never rolls them up..

oh phil, if my name isn't on your wrist-- i would regret everything i have done throughout my life. the way your hair just lays out across your forehead is amazing and the way you smile is the most adorable thing i have ever seen. your eyes are like the ocean, they hold so much life and joy in them...

i know we just had our first encounter yesterday but my wrist has sealed our fate together, i..-- i love you, phil lester.

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WOOO I REACHED A THOUSAND WORDS AGAIN YAYYYY -author