pardon me//phan au

four - "marie please"

this chapter is gonna be filled with a very long flashback of phil's childhood :)) -author

- still phil's pov

i was afraid this would happen. i knew it was bound to happen, it happened to me once before why did i think that history would never repeat itself...

my mind was blank as i stared down at my bare wrists. no... i can't hurt anybody else's feelings, i can't turn anybody down-- not like... before

-

"phil!! look!!", marie rushed towards me.

"yeah?", i innocently stare at marie.

"i've got the name!", she squeals.

"oh really? cool", i smile nicely at her. it's nice that she's found her soulmate this young-- i'm only 13 and she's 11.

"nuh-uh!", marie used her hand to hide her wrist. "it's a surprise-!", she winked.

i wiggled my nose in confusion, and she wrapped her tiny hands on my collar and she gave me a small kiss with no warning.

i didn't know what to do so i just went along with it, and it seemed like a kiss from a romance movie.

"it's you, phil", she said with an adorable smile.

then reality hit me and if she has me, and... i don't have her... how will i tell her that i don't have her on my wrist?

"how about you philip? do you love me back?", marie pouted and her eyes were wide and eager to know my response.

"o-oh", i stuttered.

"i actually don't-- have... your- name on my... wrist", i tried to speak and i watched marie's face closely just so he could find any signs of sudden realization and sadness.

"oh", marie sounded disappointed but she didn't seem completely sad. she looked up at the sky and her eyes started to well up with tears.

"marie, are you okay? i'm... i'm sorry that i don't have the same feelings towards you", i say taking a close step towards her. i wrapped my arms around her and she didn't try to break free of my grasp.

instead she fell into my arms and started crying a lot. after a good few minutes of me just holding her really close and patting her back and telling her it's okay, she calmed down.

then she got out of my arms and looked up at me, "i'm over it anyway. it's okay, this stuff happens".

she's leaning on me sideways and resting her head on my shoulder, "i won't hate you for something that isn't your fault, i understand maybe you'll find another girl... or guy".

i smile a bit, marie is really taking this better than expected. in fact she didn't even hold any grudges, she just cried for a long time and got over it.

"listen phil, if you ever do find a soulmate, i promise i'll be there with you every step of the way", she said enthusiastically.