Chapter Twenty One- Our Sins

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'Have you ever loved someone? To the point where you'd die for them? To where you'd trade your life to save them? 

No? Yes? 

It doesn't matter I guess. It all ends the same. I know that. You can't blame me for wanting to be with him, despite what I know. 

There's never a perfect ending. There's never a 'Happy Ever After'. Believe me I've tried to have that. 

Many times but that's not the point. G asked me something today that got me thinking. 

We were talking about stuff like the Timelines, which I'm gland Gaster reminded him about, and The past. 

We talked about my brother. Jake. I get shivers thinking about what he's done. 

"Do you think even the worst person can change? That everyone can be a good person if they just try?"

That got me thinking. What if we could change Jake. What if we could make him a good person.

But what really is the difference between good and bad anymore. A whole load of people in this world have killed. Heck I've even killed. Not pleasant at first.

No matter what you do. No matter who you kill. You can feel it running up and down your back. Your sins. They run wild in you, free to do whatever they see fit. They're the shiver that runs down your back, they're the regret and gilt that shoots through your head.

No matter how many sins you have, past or present. No matter the number of lives you've taken. No matter the amount of LOVE that sits in your heart. No matter the kindness in your eyes. 

You can feel every sin, and It can be over whelming. I've learned to deal with it. The amount of people I've killed. The amount of things I've done to protect those I love. The amount of people I've hurt.

Everyone's done something worth punishment. Everyone's hurt someone, intentional or not, it happens.

The new question is what truly is what is Love?

Well it has two meanings one nice, and one not so nice.

LOVE is an acronym. It stands for Level Of ViolencE. It's A way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.

That's the bad one. It's happened before, I've met people with a high level of LOVE but now-a-days when is there not someone with a high EXP number. 

EXP too is an acronym. It stands for "execution points." A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill or hurt someone to the point of death, your EXP number increases.

I have a high number, G has a high number, heck even Kat has a high level. Yet we all stay together. We don't distance yourself. 

G has a high count, yet here he is. Looking out for the group and for his brother. 

I have a high count, yet here I am. Putting my life on the line for everyone I love. G included.

Kat has a high count, yet here she is. Looking out for these people that she barley knows and is looking out for me.

I guess it varies from people.

I was always told that those who are fearless will make it in this world. You've gotta learn to live with no fear. To let everything that holds you back go.'

A soft knock come to my door bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, it's open." I say, staring at the ceiling from my laying position on the bed.

The door opens and the cold air from the hall rushes in and mixes with the warm heated air of the room.

Foot steps fill the room and I turn my head a bit to see G. He smiles at me and motions for me to move over. I do so and he sits down on the edge of the bed.

He kicked off his boots and laid beside me.

"You okay Dove?" He asked, turning his head to look at me. 

"Yeah. Just thinking, that's all." I say, turning to look at him. 

He want's to ask about what. I can tell he does. But I interrupt him by yawning, truth-be-told, I was up all day helping Alphys around the lab, while trying to not hurt my shoulder any worse.

"Tired Dove?" He asks, smiling at me as I shifted myself closer to him.

I nodded and snuggled up to him, my head pressed into the crook of his neck, and snuggling the fluff of his jacket. While I set my right hand on his ribcage.

He chuckled and wrapped his right arm around me, pulling up the covers with his magic. 

"G'night Dove." He whispered in my ear and planted a kiss on my forehead.

I smiled and slowly drifted to sleep.

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