Survived ~《A true story of a sexualy abused victim 》

Scared

.... the things continued to happen and grow.. .. after this taking my naked pictures  also became a normal routine...  and I also got used to it.. as if I had any other option..

The horried night gave me a nightmare for my whole life..the night when he was pressing my chest  with one hand  and I woke up and saw my mom with her dress high onto her face.... and he was pressing her with his other hand... and as soon as he saw that my eyes were open.. he told her to turn and move to his side ... he then came in between us.. her back was facing me.. and him.. then he sat up and removed all my clothes...and he was only wearing his lungi(cloth).. then he pulled me on top of him..and started kissing me... while  he was kissing me I felt something underneath me...he started moving and rubbing something on my down part... he then started making noises..and kissing and biting my chest  pinching it .., revolving his hand on my whole body..he took my whole chest in his mouth .. and started eating it... then all of a sudden he pushed me down and turned mom .. he removed her salwar (pants)   in a haste and made her legs apart in such speed that her leg came on my legs.. .and then they both started moving and making noises.. I closed my eyes and shifted more in the corner until my back touched the wall then to I was near them .. as I was still on the  bed ...
Then after  they stopped he went to his side and slept and mom came besides me and she kept her hand on me.. I shook because her hands were soft and I still was naked.. I don't know when I slept.. when I got up in the morning my clothes were on my body ..

This became a daily routine... because it started happening daily..day and night .. and I started living with it..

The days or nights.. it just depended on his mood... all thing's were on his mood..

I started going in the kitchen in between this period... I started cooking... if I would try and make excuses he would make an scene saying that the food is not proper... or the vessel's are not washed properly and start hitting me... and mom would stand there and tell that let her be next time she won't do it ..

And then she would come and make me understand .. that I am a girl I need to know how to cook and I need to learn to bear the pain  as girls have to tolerate pain .. that he is giving me pain as a punishment for my mistakes  and all kid's get punished

This was what she always told .. i was always at fault .. if I would say something it would be said that i am arguing.. and if I  would not say anything it would be said that I am not effect that I hear from one year and remove it from the other year

I never questioned her I just took it all on my self and this started giving me low self esteem out side the house.. as well as inside .. I was a very easy target for people .

I did not trust anyone nor did I care I  was just a  school girl living like a wife prostitute everything..

Whenever we had an argument or we went to his sister's house it would always be the same topic..
He would always blame my mother and me... and she would always tell him that when I grow up I will cook etc.. but little idea did anyone have of what he actually wanted .. he wanted easy   money he even went up to the extent of tell that I should become a prostitute i will get a lot of money .. and he wanted me to be his personal prostitute. 

How could I.. I wanted to be a child live carefree be happy not all this...
I just wanted to be a child.. just that