Chapter 4

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I woke up the next morning, but I didn't get out of bed. Instead I went over the dream I'd just had and tried to figure out just why I'd had it.

I dreamt that Brian and I fell in love, and announced our relationship. It was so sweet, we were so good together. He was like my own prince charming. In my dream, we ended up having a baby together. It was a little boy, we called him Brian Junior. He had Brian's perfect face shape and he had my nose and eyes. He was a perfect little combination of Brian and I.

The dream felt so real, and it scared me, because I actually enjoyed it. It felt right in a way. There was a big difference to myself in the dream though. After years of drug abuse, I'd lost a lot of weight and my hair had become a lot thinner. In my dream, I had a fuller figure and my hair was thicker, like it had been before the drugs. I looked more normal. I looked healthier.

I couldn't understand why I'd had the dream though. Was I falling for Brian? My worst fear was that he'd fall for me. I'd never considered that I could possibly fall for him. I couldn't be falling for him.

I quickly got out of bed and shook the dream from my mind. I could never tell anyone I'd had that dream. Brian was my fuck buddy, nothing more. He never would be anything more. That was my one rule, and I would not be the one to break it.

I eventually got up and got ready. Brian texted me to make sure I was still going over to his today, to which I replied that I was. It was going to be weird just hanging out with him, especially with the dream I'd just had. I grabbed my back walked down stairs.

"Morning, Ashley." Matt, Jimmy and Zack said at the same time. They were all sat together on the sofa's, each with a beer, watching a DVD of Metallica live. It was kind of creepy how they all said the same thing at the same time.

"I'm going out." I said. The all mumbled their goodbyes, too engrossed in their DVD to really say anything else. I opened the door and walked the short distance to Brian's house.

"Hey." Brian said when he opened the door, inviting me in. He seemed almost shy for some reason. I really hoped he hadn't just been jerking off, that'd be embarrassing. I walked past him and threw myself down onto his sofa in front of his TV.

"Beer?" he asked, as he walked past the living room. I nodded and flicked through the channels on his TV looking for something decent to watch. Romance? No way. Just as friends, he'd said. So a soppy romance was out of the question. Horror? No. I really didn't fancy making him sleep with me because I was too scared to sleep alone. The bed me and Brian shared would be used for only one thing.

I kept looking through the channels as Brian came back with my beer.

"Thanks." I said, not taking my eyes away from the TV, still looking for something appropriate to watch. I came across a fairly new movie that I had yet to see. 2012. It seemed good, so I decided that we'd watch that.

We sat next to each other on the sofa as the movie played. It was really awkward, we didn't talk, we didn't even make eye contact. It was as if we were enemies. We hadn't even touched each other since I arrived, it seemed we were both trying to stay as far away from the other as possible.

Although we were trying to keep apart, I could feel something deep in the pit of my stomach. Not sickness. It was more of a fluttering feeling. As if I was on a roller coaster that I wasn't sure I really wanted to be on. Nervousness, shyness, fear? I couldn't be having these feelings for Brian, could I? No. I wouldn't let myself.

About an hour into the movie I was starting to fall asleep. The movie was really getting boring, it was so unrealistic. Really bad choice on my part. I felt my head drooping and my eyes closing, but I didn't try and stop them.

I felt my whole body drop onto something warm and soft before I drifted off into my own imagination.

"Ashley. Ash, wake up." I heard a soft voice calling my name. I opened my eyes slowly and saw Brian's face hovering not too far from my own. I noticed I was laid in his lap. Oops.

"You fell asleep. It's only 2 in the afternoon, you can't seriously be tired?" he said, laughing slightly.

I shrugged, "Movie was boring."

"Agreed." he said, "So.. you still tired?" he asked, getting closer to me. I knew what he was thinking. I shook my head quickly and closed the gap between us with a kiss. It soon enough got pretty heated, and I was straddling him on the sofa, each of us ripping our clothes off as we went.

It wasn't long before he was laid above me, grunting and panting as we went. His whole body and hair covered with sweat, but he still managed to look sexy.

It was quicker than usual, but just as satisfying.

"If any of the guys found out what happened on this sofa.." he started.

"Not that they will!" I said, almost shouting. Fearing what my brother would do to me and Brian if he found out...

"But if they did, they'd never come over again." he laughed

We laid on the sofa together watching random TV shows for a while before I headed off home. It was weird to hang around with Brian again. We used to hang around all the time before I became an addict. Just like I did with Jimmy, only not as close. It was a short walk from Brian's apartment to Matt's house, but I still managed to do a lot of thinking in that time.

I'd enjoyed the day, not only because of the sex, but because I was spending time with Brian. I couldn't decide weather that was because I missed my friend, or that I wanted more. I was already having sex with him on the sly, but I wondered if my heart wanted something more. Something I would never let it have.

I was scared of the answer. I didn't want to fall for Brian. It was my only rule, not to do so. How could I break a simple rule that I set, myself? I couldn't. I wouldn't. The weird dream and the feeling I had around him were all coincidences. All factors I could easily blame on my withdrawls from drugs.

As I walked into the house, I was almost in frenzy. I couldn't see straight or think straight anymore. I realized then and there why I had so easily gotten off the drugs. I was distracted. By Jimmy, by my brother, by Brian. But I wasn't distracted anymore. My head was spinning.

I almost ran up the stairs and into my bedroom and rumaged through my wardrobe. I'd slipped up the other month while out partying and bought a small bag of cocaine. I realised what I'd done the next morning though and hid it in my wardrobe so that nobody would know.

I was so glad I did.

It wasn't long before I was on the high I'd so desperately craved a moment ago. I put on a thin black dress and rung a number I never thought I'd be dialling again.

"Hey, Reece. I wanna go out. Now." I said urgently.

"I knew I'd get my girl back! I'll pick you up in 10!" he said before hanging up.

I didn't know what I was doing, and at that point, I didn't care.

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I know I was supposed to update this yesterday, but I didn't go online, sorry! D:

Anyway chapter 4, yay. Tell me what you think! :D

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