Past Time // H.S.

ended call

HARRY

Leaving Charlie's I started thinking and once I start I can't stop.

Thinking of where I would be today. What me and my then girlfriend would be doing at this moment.

We'd be seniors in high school with a 3 year old beautiful daughter. I always think of what kind of person she would form into, what her personality would be like. I always think of what we would have named her. I haven't thought about this in so long I've moved on, but now that Kristen is back in town it's stuck on my mind again.

She's put me through so much pain, why does she continue to do it?

I was young and stupid, I didn't know what I was doing, I thought I was ready and I wasn't.

When I get to my house I throw my keys on the counter and head up to my room.

I start throwing my things out of my way to find what I'm looking for. Searching every drawer and every shelf until I find it. All the way on the top shelf of my bookcase I find the small crumbled black and white photo.

I stare at it sitting on my bed. I remember the first time I saw this picture, I couldn't look away and I was scared shitless. Now it's nothing but a nightmare that would have changed my life forever.

I never got the courage to throw the picture away, it was inhumane. So I just threw it somewhere I could forget.

I've never told anyone about what happened when I was younger, not my parents, not my best friend Lou, and not even Charlie. I can't live through that again explaining it. I try to forget about that day every time I wake up, but it will always be there. Obviously Charlie and I will get closer and we'll have to tell each other these things. Once I tell her it should be time to forget about it forever. She's the only person I would feel comfortable with to tell.

I put the picture back where it was, put up far away.

I pull out my phone and hover over her name. I don't want to call her but I need to. Maybe at least text her. This curiosity is too much.

Regretting it already I hear the phone ring, it rings again, and again finally she answers. "Styles??" I can tell she's shocked that I called. "Yeah-um. I just need to know one thing Kris." "What is that exactly baby?" She says obviously chewing on a piece of gum. I cringe at what she calls me and am scared to proceed.

"W-why the hell did you do it?" The line goes silent. "What are you talking about?" She says. Don't make me say it. "Why did you k-." My head falls in my head, I can't finish the sentence.

"I just want to know why, Kris. I deserve that after everything." I wait for her response, she leaves me hanging. "Kris?" I look at my screen to see the call was ended. I guess I will never know. It's time to move on.