inside my mind • lucaya

Chapter Five

I love Lucas. I'm convinced it's more than just a crush by now. The thought of someone else with him hurts me.

I feel like someone is stabbing me in the chest. Is someone pouring negative thoughts into me? Who are you? Please make it stop.

I can't breath.

I can't do anything.

Who do I tell?

✖

Lucaya: Hello again friend.

IAmBroken: Hello there Maya.

IAmBroken: Is everything okay?

Lucaya: No. It's worse. I can't go on like this.

IAmBroken: What happened?

Lucaya: The new friend told me that the boy I like was going to ask me out once.

IAmBroken: Oh no.

Lucaya: I know! I don't know what to do.

IAmBroken: Does your friend know you like the boy?

Lucaya: I didn't tell him but I think he has it pretty well figured out.

IAmBroken: Do you trust him?

Lucaya: I... don't know.

IAmBroken: Talk to him.

✖

I can't talk to Zay about this. He will tell. I have to tell someone. Maybe I can write notes to myself.

✖

Dear Lucas,
I love you. I haven't stopped loving you. I need you.

✖

I fold the note, and then drop it. It shreds into millions of pieces.

That was pretty satisfying.

Maybe I can ask Lucas if he wants to hang out or something. Not a date, but just a chance to really verify my feelings. And a chance to spend time with him.

Lucas.

"Hey Maya, why are you calling?" he asks.

"Well... I know this sounds weird... like really weird, but I was wondering if you maybe like... I don't know... wanted to hang out or something?"

Way to embarrass yourself.

"Like... just me and you?" he asks.

"Well, I was thinking we don't really talk much and..."

"Sounds fun. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. Pick somewhere that is just for friends. I don't want your girlfriend getting suspicious."

"Yeah, that wouldn't be good," he says while laughing.

I wasn't trying to be funny, but okay.

"Speaking of which, is Riley okay with it?"

"Riley are you okay with it?"

Wait he is with her?

"Yes!" I hear her perky little voice come through the phone.

Well that was easier than I thought.

"Okay so when do you want to do this and where are we going?' I ask.

"We could go see a movie or something this weekend," he says.

Zay asked me to go see a movie.

"Wait what movie do you have in mind?" I ask.

"Shattered Sunset," he says.

"Okay well Zay kind of invited me to see that with him this weekend," I say.

He doesn't say anything.

"Lucas what's wrong?" Riley asks in the background.

"Zay?" he asks.

"Yeah why?"

"He can come too," Lucas says.

"Why?"

"So you don't have to choose between us."

"Okay."

The call ends.

That was weird.

Wait... didn't Lucas want to take me to that movie? Is that why he's upset?

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my chapter endings are lame k