inside my mind • lucaya

Chapter Twenty Two

I kissed Lucas. Oh my. I kissed Lucas. I kissed him twice.

This probably shouldn't be something to worry about after the whole Amanda thing; but we kissed... already. I don't think I actually changed my mind. What the heck? Why did I let him do that?

My heart rate is picking up and my hands are sweating. I need to breathe.

"Maya are you okay?" Lucas asks.

"Yeah I'm fine," I say, gasping for breath.

"You don't seem fine. Sit down," he says pulling me over to a bench. He reaches for my hand but I don't grab it.

"Maya what's wrong?" he asks again, the intensity in his voice growing.

"Lucas... we... kissed," I say. It hurts to say it for some reason. My heart starts beating faster. I didn't even know that was possible.

"Yeah, why is that upsetting you?" he asks placing his hand on my shoulder. I don't really want him to, but I guess it's okay.

"It's too much; it- it's too fast. It's all happening too fast," I say. I bring my hands up into my face and lean over, placing my elbows on my thighs. I feel tears starting to form in the corner of my eyes. Lucas moves his arm and wraps it around my back.

I don't know why this is bothering me so much all of a sudden. I was fine when it happened. Maybe I was just too caught up in the moment to care about what was actually happening.

"I'm sorry Lucas. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We can wait if you want."

"It's too late. We already did it and there is nothing we can do about it."

"I mean we can wait before it happens again. If you don't want to I respect that."

You sure didn't respect that when you dared me to do it the first time.

"Okay," I say. Thankfully, my heart beat starts to slow down and no more tears are forming. I'm still upset that if we did it, but if we can keep the limits from here on it's okay I guess.

I don't get up immediately because I need to catch my breath.

"What was Amanda going to say?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"Nothing important," he says.

"Then why did you get so upset?"

"I told you it's not important. She just gets on my nerves."

"Lucas..."

"Maya. I'm telling you it wasn't important. Just drop it."

"If it isn't important then why can't you just-"

"Please stop asking. I don't wanna talk about it, okay?"

"Fine."

We sit there for a couple minutes before he finally stands up and stretches out his hand to me. I stand up but I don't grab it. A small frown forms on his face but I really don't want to touch anyone right now, so I don't really care.

-

"Well that was fun," Lucas says.

"Yeah. See you later," I say, starting to open the door to my house.

"So what do we do?" he asks.

I put my hand up to signal for a high five and thankfully he does it. That would have been awkward if he didn't.

I walk into the house, shut the door behind me, and run up to my room. I close the bedroom door behind me and lock it. I flop onto my bed a pull my phone out of my pocket. I have three texts, and they're all from Riley.

Riley: Hey Maya what's up?

Riley: Are you busy?

Riley: Okay I'm gonna assume you're busy. 😂 Text me back when you get a chance.

Whoops.

Maya: Hey, sorry I didn't answer.

Riley: No problem, I was just bored.

Maya: Oh, you still bored?

Riley: A little bit. Wanna do something?

Maya: We could play a little game of truth or dare. 😏

Riley: Okay then come to my house. I can invite everyone over.

Oh, this is going to be fantastic.

Maya: Cool. See you there.

-

"Okay everyone, welcome to the first annual Truth or Dare," Riley says, holding a fake microphone like a game show host. She's adorable.

"Can we have the rules, Host Riley?" Farkle asks with his hand raised.

"I'm glad you asked. You are allowed to get out of two things. Only two, if you chicken out of more than two, you lose. Also, almost nothing is off limits, but keep it appropriate, we don't want anyone getting pregnant tonight," she says, following it up with wink.

"Riley what?" Zay says in a somewhat squeal. I don't think any of us can believe what she just said. Smackle is laughing and Farkle's mouth is so wide open he could fit like, two whole hands in his mouth.

"What, you guys act like I'm so innocent. I don't always have to be," she says, laughing at everyone's expressions.

"Well let's get started," Lucas says.

"Okay but I'm going first," Riley says, borderline shouting.

Everyone nods their head in approval.

"Farkle, truth or dare?" Riley says.

"Truth," he replies.

"Okay. Are you and Smackle dating or what?"