I Won't Back Down

Chapter 5: Breaking My Shell

~~~Justin~~~

+++The Next Day+++

I was lying in bed trying to understand what Juan is doing to me. It was so simple when everyone hated me except for mom, dad, and Jules. I love how Brook likes me too but, Juan...I just don't trust it after what Derek did to me. I won't trust a person like that ever again. 

I even talked to mom last night when she came home and all she said was, "Oh my baby follow your heart." 

Damn it mom! This isn't a fucking Disney movie this is real life. This is where everyone wants me to die not love me. I don't know what to do...should I end it?...Should I run away?...or should I shut down?

I was interrupted by thought when my phone went off. A text from Juan already? Damn it...

"Morning Handsome...you ready for the date tonight ;)" he sent.

"I don't know Juan...this is a mistake...please forgive me :'(" I sent back.

"I'm Coming over in ten" He sent.

I threw my phone on the floor and pulled my blanket under my bed. I stayed there crying until I heard the door bell and I started to freak out. I held my breath feeling the floor shake. The giant door to my room opened and I was shaking.

"He hides under the bed" Dad said to Juan.

YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!!! I screamed in my head. I heard the door close and the floor shake like Juan sat down.

"Justin?" Juan said softly.

I didn't move I just closed my eyes as my bed was lifted off of me. I must of looked pathetic being curled up in a ball under a blanket that was under my bed. I felt myself being lifted up and I cried. The blanket was pulled off of me and I saw those big red eyes that are filled with concern. 

"I'm a mistake Juan...I don't deserve anyone" I sobbed.

I felt myself moving and I heard the thumping of his heart and his warmth.

"You're wrong" he said.

"I should just end this" I said in monotone.

"What? End What?" he asked.

"Forget it" I said looking away.

I felt myself closing everything off and all I could do is just stare.

"Dam it Justin! Talk to me don't close me out!" he shouted.

I than turned me head to him, "Should I just end myself?" I whispered.

He must of heard me perfectly because his face turned red in anger and than softened up, "Please...please don't" he said back as softly.

I heard him sniffing like he was crying and I cried. I was strong when beaten down but, at the end of the day I cry like everyone else who is depressed.

"You are the only person beside mom,dad, Jules, and Brook that thinks I shouldn't...Why do you do this to me? We met less than a week ago" I sobbed.

"Because you are as broken as I am. Know one cares about me...They only fear me...The half-ling that has killed"he said.

"There loss" I said calming down.

"Just like its theirs for not seeing the most smart, beautiful, and artistic man that I got to know" He said.

I hugged his thumb, "I guess we are both just emotion messes" I joked.

He laughed, "Yeah but, I feel better when I'm around you...I almost feel normal" he said.