Violation and Trust

True Colors

I avoided Easton for a few days. Not out of fear or confusion, but just to give him time to let things sink in. Personally, I didn't feel it was a big deal, but I wasn't the one disappointed. Come to think of it, I hadn't asked Easton about his dating past nor had he asked about mine. It just never came up. Maybe ten months had been long enough for his past girlfriend, if he had one. I considered asking him.

I called Easton after about a week and asked him how he was. He didn't sound disappointed anymore, but he also didn't sound happy to hear from me.

"Easton, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he answered me. That was an unusual answer. Normally, Easton said more than "I'm fine."

"Well, I want to ask you something," I told him. "You have a few minutes?"

"Yeah."

Was he that upset? I tried to think that maybe something else happened and that was the cause of his seemingly bad mood, but I couldn't believe it. Now, I was honestly thinking he was being a little babyish.

"Easton, am I your first girlfriend?" I asked him.

"Are you going to get jealous if I answer truthfully?"

"That kind of gives away your answer. Can I at least know how many were before me?"

"I had two girlfriends before you, Musa," he told me. "One was in high school. That didn't last long. The other lasted two years before she moved away."

So one short-lived relationship and one ended due to circumstance. "If it's okay to ask, did either of those relationships become sexual?"

"Yes," he replied. "My second one. Her name's not important, but yes. She brought it up, not me, but we were together for five months at that time."

Five months?! It's a wonder how I didn't scream into the phone. I mean, I know it's not right to judge, but five months just didn't seem long to me. But, obviously, I think differently.

"Easton, are you still upset over me saying no?"

"If you want my honesty, yes. I kind of am."

"Why? I said it's not about you. It's just me."

"I know that."

I was getting a little annoyed. If he understands, what is the issue? Does he think I don't like him enough? That I'm being prudish?

"You have me so confused right now," I told him. "If you understand, why are you still upset?"

"It's not about you, it's about me," he said, almost as if to mock my answer, judging by his tone.

"Easton, will you be serious? I'm just trying to understand you."

"Well, what do you want me to say? I'm happy I got rejected?"

"Wait a second," I muttered. I thought for a few seconds and then got angry. "Are you telling me you're upset because you feel like I shot your pride?"

"Yes!"

I could've thrown the phone through the window when he said that. I couldn't even think of something to say, so I just hung up. That's what this was about? His stupid little pride? So because he got into it at five months with some other girl, I was supposed to agree too?

I was so angry, I had to sit in my room for a couple of minutes to calm down. I think I was more in disbelief than I was angry. Easton seemed so perfect, but now, he showed me his true colors. Is that why he treated me so nicely? Was that all he wanted from me to begin with?

I started thinking back to Riven. I wondered what he would think if I told him this. As much of a jerk as Riven could be, I was certain that even he would hate Easton. One thing Riven never did was make me feel like I was just a toy. Hurt my feelings, yes, but not treat me like a toy.

"Musa? Musa?" Flora opened my door and peeked in. "Oh, there you are. You've been in here soundless for an hour. Everything okay, hon?"

I told Flora about the phone call and how I was feeling. I was so confused, angry and sad. Why did he even wait ten months?

Flora didn't have much to say beyond that's what manipulative people do. She did have one suggestion, however: dump him. As dumb as it sounds, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to talk to him more about this. I just wanted to know why he felt that way.

Flora urged me not to, almost pleading with me. She told me Easton made it blatant. He doesn't care about me. He just wants sex from me. I told Flora about his previous relationships, but she didn't believe it. Even if it were true, she said, it doesn't mean he isn't manipulative or a user.

"Someone who is manipulative acts nice to gain trust," Flora explained to me. "After some time, they show their true colors, but since they're trusted, it's ignored or unseen until the last minute when nothing can be done. The manipulator has lured the person into a trap."

"What are you saying, Flora?"

"I'm saying I can't tell you what to do, but I think you should get rid of Easton," she said. "But if you don't, please, please be careful."

Flora left me alone. I thought hard about what she said and yet, I still wanted to talk to Easton about this. All I wanted to know was why he was taking me turning him down so hard.

It look a long time, but I made up my mind. I would go talk to Easton face-to-face tomorrow. If we couldn't reconcile, I'd end the relationship.