25 Days With Mr. Arrogant - A Harry Styles fanfiction

CHAPTER 30:

I let everything I was holding fall to the floor. Hell, if my whole world wasn't falling right now. I just stood there completely captivated by the beautiful man infront of me that had filled my days with so much hate but also love. The same old signature jeans, the same old shirt that had a few holes and stains, the same old bandana that would hold his charming curls back. The same old Harry. But his handsome face held an unfamiliar expression, an empty one. The silence and the flatline between the two of us stung like hell.

I wanted to run. Away from him because of my lack of words in this moment. But I also wanted to run into his arms and hold him so tight to make up for these days of agony. He chuckled before he spoke, and the sound of his voice completely untouched and uncrushed made my whole body ache.

"Don't you ever lock your door?,"

"I do," I spoke, swallowing hard.

"Well you didn't this time, as you can tell,"

"Obviously not. There's been a lot on my mind,"

"Really?" this time his voice held a tone of bitter sarcasm. "You should still lock your doors, you would forget locking them back in L.A. too. It's dangerous you know,"

"Okay," I gulped. Uncertain of what he's actually saying, what he actually means.

"That's why you came here? To tell me to lock my doors? Is that all, Harry?"

"It's more than you've said to me in three months," he scoffed.

I started shaking harder as the words left his mouth. I wanted to let my drained self sink to the floor. Three months.

I didn't say anything, I just looked down at where my feet were surrounded by all the objects that had fallen out of my bag. I was unable to answer him. The silence lasted for what felt like hours until Harry's raspy voice that had now, faded into a softer and more quited tone, broke the horrible stillness.

"Three months, Alex... Three months,"

"I don't know what to say to you," I whispered, still not letting my eyes connect with his.

"Bullshit," he began, spitting out the word. "You just fucking left, without saying a word. Have you even checked your phone?"

"Yes,"

"And you didn't even bother replying once? I called you, I left you messages, for days, weeks even. I know you fucking hate me for what I did, but you could've atleast said goodbye. That's all I wanted,"

"I know, I..."

"You what, Alex? What?" he was moving closer and closer to me as he spoke, or yelled, practically. "You're no fucking better than me. Coming up to me acting all hurt and shit when you're not. Guess you were playing me too," he scoffed and let out a harsh laugh.

"That's not true," I could feel the tears down my cheeks.

"These three months told me otherwize,"

I finally returned his burning gaze with my own, the warm liquid still pouring out of my eyes. I wanted to slap him. No, I wanted to kiss him. Or both.

"You crushed me," I began quietly. "You crushed me beyond words, Harry. But nothing has changed since I last saw you at the parking lot. I hate you, even though you hurt me, so much, I still love you, and for that I hate you," I spoke. He was now standing so close to me that I could feel his breath fanning. Our eyes still connected, his green ones burning into mine. He stood just like that, close and silent. His lips began to tremble and a single tear slipped from his eye.

"You love me?"

"How can I not love you?," I began. "I told you, you just -- I didn't say it loud enough for you to hear it,"

"Why?" he sounded hurt, and his eyes began welling up more.

"Because I'm not supposed to love you, not after what you did," my eyes took a travel down to his lips. He was so beautiful, and I hated feeling so hypnotized by his features. I let myself imagine his lips on mine. It had been so long, too long, and the urge to feel his lips moving against mine so perfectly like they'd always do was beyond anything. I quickly shot my gaze back up to not get caught off guard.

I let out a sigh before speaking again.

"It's taking everything to not kiss you right now," I admitted in a whisper. I couldn't help it.

Silence fell upon my spoken words, but I could still hear him breathing. He reaced up his hand to hold the side of my cheek as he slowly began tracing his thumb along my lower lip. I almost flinched at his touch, because the moment his skin touched mine, it was like a fire lit up inside of me - the area where we were connected burning the most. After three months, the burn held everything far away from pain.

This was one of the things I had absolutely gone lunatic from missing - the heat building up to the highest whenever we just as little as brushed our skin against each other.

The pain in his voice when he next spoke was hard to believe. "You hurt me... so bad, Alex," he said, sniffling. Never had I seen or imagined him this vulnerable just as he was right now.

"But you hurt me too,"

Without a word he leaned down, brushing his lips over mine softly and a gasp caught in the back of my throat. The kiss was gentle just as his first gentle touch over three months ago. It was a time of firsts – the first time he’d kissed me softly, the first time he’d uttered those three words. The first time I’d whispered them back, even though he didn't hear it, during the first time I’d walked away from him. Our faces were not more than an inch apart, if even that.

"Can we just forget today and yesterday and every day before that, only for tonight?" he begged in a whisper. "Please. Only for tonight,"

His plea was enough for me to respond by crashing my lips along with my body against his. He stumbled back a little with my actions as he caught my waist in his large hands, pulling me even closer to him. His lips moved softly over mine, but our kisses soon turned into rough and desperate ones. He parted his lips from mine and brought them over my jawline and down my neck, leaving sloppy kisses along the way. I brought my hand up to his hair and tangled my fingers into the brown strands. I was panting from his touch, and I could feel and hear his heavy breathing too.

We were still in the hallway, and I hand't noticed as we got carried away, we had been slowly backing and I was now pressed against the wall, with Harry pressed onto me. He brought his lips back to mine, connecting our tounges with the kiss as well. His hands moved up and down my sides and when he reached down my legs, he squeezed my thigs gently, gesturing for him to lift me up. I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist, our kisses never breaking. My hands were still tugging at his hair and from the small whimpers that had escaped his mouth from each pull I could tell that he was enjoying it.

Harry started walking, still carrying me as if I had the weight of a feather. We were bumping into walls and corners as we slowly made our way to my bedroom.

I had no idea what would happen from where we were right now – what would happen tonight and where we'd go from here. But despite the suffering, the hurting, the pain – I wanted right now to last forever.