25 Days With Mr. Arrogant - A Harry Styles fanfiction

CHAPTER 39:

HARRY'S POV:

It was difficult to stay composed during the hour of dumb and provocative questions and remarks. I wanted to snap the fucking interviewer in half during the entire time. This side of the darling dream is the one I can't stand. The press, media, paps and asshole-fame. Why can't it ever be about the music anymore?

The only damn reason I even showed up was because of Alex. It feels like I'm doing everything for her nowadays, and not that she isn't worth it - because she's worth more than anything else in my life. Ever since I met her my world just started revolving around her, and I had a real fucked up way of showing it. I am trying my best to show her in all the ways she deserves right now, and even at that I am worthless;

I love you.

Three words - so simple yet meaningfull, and I can't let it spill. She dissappeared for so long when I last told her. Seems like everyone does as soon as I let those little words escape.

For now, I'll have to show her in the only ways I can. I am learning, and the few days that I've spent with her have been the best lessons.

I want to touch her-God, I do. And I ache to be touched by her just as much. But when she's just with me, smiling and laughing - that does surreal things to me. I don't want to wait, but I know that I have to. Once it's done, she'll never get it back. It's not fair of me to be taking something important like that from her when I can't even give her three little words.

I trust her when she tells me the way she feels about me, and I trust her when she says she won't leave. The only person I don't trust is myself. I've pledged to never deliberately hurt her again, but maybe something sworn isn't enough. I know that I can control my future - our future. I can control the way I choose to handle different situations or emotions in the future. But what scares me the most is that my past can come stabbing us both, and I don't think that I will be able to control that.

I force my thoughts into the back of my mind, I'm already pissed because of the interview and I don't want to fuel my fire further.

Before I took a cab home I made it quick to the store to get some groceries, once again something I've never been able to imagine myself do, and it's fucking hilarious. As I step out of the car I feel the corners of my mouth tug at the thought of our night waiting. As soon as I awoke with her next to me this morning I planned on taking her here, making her dinner and just spend rest of the night with her in my arms.

However, as soon as I open the door, I am shattered at the familiar sight before me - Alex on both her hands and knees, fixing a mess made by me. I notice that the place is completely cleaned up except for the few shards of glass left that she's struggling to reach for under the table. After a quick glance around the room, my eyes are brought back to the beautiful girl on all her fours, and the view absolutely terrifies me. A light sparks inside of me, and it's not the kind of lightness that you'd ever want me to be ignited with.

My burning body takes all the strength to slam the door shut and I see her jump as she notices my presence.

"Shit," I hear her curse underneath the table. I let the bag of groceries in my hand drop before making my way to her quickly.

"Get up," I can't really register the tone of my voice in this moment, but I know there's no chance I can make it through this being calm. I don't know what to feel, all emotions are throwing a fucking fit inside of me. Getting home to a completely trashed apartment filled with dark memories, an interview that could ruin everything, and now this - something I hoped to never have to see again.

"Are you alri-"

"I said get up!" I know I am shouting by now but there's nothing I can do to help it. I'm too angry, and it's not helping that she's still on the floor looking at me as if she's never seen a human being before. I take a deep breath and try to let myself breathe, shutting my eyes as I pinch the bridge of my nose. "I swear to God, Alex-"