I'm sad. Please help me. (A Joshler online/texting fic) ✔️

16: Mom, dad, I'm an addict

New chapter! Yay! 2225 words.

The heavydirtysoul music video is so good btw wowie

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"So... For two years? When you were fourteen?" Josh asked.

Tyler nodded. "Yeah... But, not like when I just got fourteen or anything. I'm almost seventeen, I turn seventeen next month, and it's around 2 years now so it was when I was about to turn fifteen", Tyler told Josh.

"And how did you use this in the beginning?" Josh asked as he ran his hand through Tyler's hair. He was laying on the bed and Tyler was on Josh's left side, cuddled up to him, his head on Josh's chest.

He'd convinced Tyler that Tyler hadn't lost Josh and that Josh was here to help him. Then they cleaned Tyler's wound and wrapped it up, before getting back on the bed.

"I started with snorting it, since I was scared for a needle or syringe. But then my nose was getting really damaged so I moved on to injecting myself with it", he told Josh before he took a deep breath. He was actually telling someone about this. He'd never shared this with anyone.

"Uhm... I still snort it, but mostly at school 'cause it's too risky to take a syringe with me", Tyler muttered.

"You use it at school as well?" Josh asked, tightening his grip around Tyler.

"Y-yeah and um... I even used it at your house", he muttered.

Josh didn't really know how to react to that.

"M'sorry Josh", Tyler whispered, voice cracking.

Josh pressed a kiss on Tyler's forehead. "I forgive you", he told him. Tyler slightly nodded. "Thank you", he whispered.

"Uhm but yeah... My nose is still damaged. Hurts when I have a runny nose but I get that a lot because of the coke, and my nose bleeds even more because of it. And I have syringe marks on my arm, which are ugly and stupid too", he sighed.

"I... I know I have a problem, Josh", Tyler whispered. "I admit I do, I don't know why. Maybe it's easier for young people to admit something like this or maybe it's just you, maybe I just can't keep lying to you because you're the only one I have and I love you, but... I admit it", he mumbled.

"I'm so happy you do, love", Josh told him as he kissed his forehead.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you and said you're 'fucking stupid' and called you 'stupid fuck'", Tyler muttered. "I really didn't mean it, I promise Joshie you're so important to me and I don't want to lose you and I didn't mean to say any of that I'm so sorry I can't believe I said that to you", Tyler rambled as tears started to well up in his eyes again.

Josh pulled Tyler on top of him. He kissed Tyler's soft, plumb lips. "I forgive you, love. I know you didn't mean it, I promise", Josh told him softly. Tyler's lip quivered, but then he rested his head on Josh's chest. "I love you so much, Josh", he whispered with a cracking voice.

"I love you too, Tyler. So much", he told him. Tyler sniffed. "I wish I deserved your love", he whispered. "C'mere love", Josh said and Tyler lifted his head up. Josh sat up against the headboard and Tyler crawled in his lap. Josh cradled him into his arms and kissed him.

"When you feel you're alone, cut off from this cruel world. Your instinct's telling you to run", Josh softly started singing as he ran his hand through Tyler's hair repeatedly.

"Listen to your heart. Those angel voices, they'll sing to you. They'll be your guide back home. When life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind. It keeps us kind", he said as he softly as he rocked Tyler back and forth gently.