I'm sad. Please help me. (A Joshler online/texting fic) ✔️

19: I Miss You

I would write a St. Patrick's Day one-shot if I had any idea what people do on this day lol

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Tyler was mentally beating himself up about the fact that he'd told the kind woman everything that happened. And though she wouldn't tell anyone anything, Tyler knew she was scared that Tyler was a danger to himself.

Maybe she was right.

The second day, Tyler lay in his bed all day. He didn't get out even once and only ate lunch. He didn't eat breakfast or dinner. He didn't get out to go to one of the sessions and he didn't eat in the main hall.

The third day, Tyler got up. He put some jeans and a shirt from Josh that Josh had given him right before he checked into rehab. He had tears in his eyes as he looked at himself in the mirror of the small bathroom.

He missed Josh so much.

But he got out and left his room. The kind woman he talked to sometimes, called Monica, saw him exit his room. She was surprised to see Tyler, to say the least, and she walked up to him.

"Tyler!" She said when she'd almost reached him. Tyler looked up and gave her a weak smile. "Hi Monica", he greeted her.

"How are you? Are you joining us today?" She asked. Tyler nodded. "I guess I am", he shrugged.

"Let's go to the main hall, breakfast is served", she said. Tyler nodded and followed her to the main hall. Tyler had no idea where to go to get where he had to go, because he'd only seen the inside of his room for the last two days.

"I wish I could join you for breakfast but I have some work to do", she sighed. "That's okay, don't worry", he told her. Monica left and Tyler went to get some breakfast. He then looked around the room and saw people sitting together, friends they'd made while they were here, but he walked to an empty table and sat down.

He picked at his breakfast, not really feeling like eating but he felt like he had to, for Josh.

If there was one reason he was there, it was Josh. For him, there wasn't any other reason to be there.

He wanted to make Josh proud.

After breakfast, Monica found him in the main hall and told him that there was a session he should go to, so he did. But when they were sitting in a circle and everyone was talking about their issues and addictions, it was Tyler's turn. He didn't say anything.

The man who lead the whole session tried to ask him questions or at least introduce himself, but Tyler didn't say anything to any of them.

Then they had lunch, and again, Tyler sat on his own. When some people sat down at the same table because all the other tables were taken already, he shuffled away to the end of the table and ate his lunch quietly.

Another session, and just like the first one, Tyler didn't say anything.

And now Tyler was back in his room again, when he heard a knock on the door. "Tyler? Can I come in?" He heard a familiar voice. "Yeah", Tyler replied as he looked at a picture of Josh and him, which they'd taken the night before Tyler was gonna check into rehab, and Josh had printed it out for him and put it in a photo frame. It was on Tyler's nightstand and he stared at it every second he was in his room, which was a lot.

Monica opened the door and walked in. "Hey sweetie", she said as she sat down next to Tyler, who was still staring at the picture. "I heard you didn't really participate in the sessions today", she said. Tyler nodded. "That's right", he muttered.

"Why?" She asked. "'Cause I miss Josh", Tyler whispered. "I'm here for Josh. Without Josh, I don't see a reason why I should be here", he said as he pulled his legs up on the bed and crossed them. He pressed the photo frame to his chest.

"To get rid of your addiction, sweetheart", she said. Tyler shrugged. "I don't need to get rid of my addiction. I wanna die anyways. Like I said, I am doing this for Josh. I want to make him proud. Not myself", he said as he lay down on the bed and closed his eyes as he hugged the photo frame. "If I didn't have Josh, I wouldn't be here. I'd probably be at the bar now, high on cocaine and ordering a drink, looking for a guy to fuck", he said like it was no big deal.

"Tyler, honey, you can see Josh again on Saturday", Monica said as she rested her hand on his knee comfortingly.

"It's only Sunday, Monica", Tyler whispered, tears starting to form in his eyes. "It's six days until I can see my Joshie again, that's way too long", he whispered. "I can't do it without him", he muttered.

"You can do this, sweetheart. I know you can. You're so strong", Monica said. "Everyone's here for you, I am here for you. We're here to help", she told him.

"Thank you, Monica, but only Josh will be able to make it better", Tyler muttered.

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Brb, writing next chapter.

What did you think of this? <3