Retrograde | ZS

XII. Lost

The morning consists of Zayn in a tent, a huge space between himself and Harry. Zayn is nearly leaning on the side of the tent walls, where it seems as if on the outside, it's tipping over. That's how badly Zayn wants to be away from Harry.

It's not completely the fact that Harry wouldn't respond to Zayn's question, but also considering Harry and Zayn did certain things without having a mutual understanding over each other's feelings.

Zayn mst of read everything wrong, from the way Harry always wanted attention, to how Harry carried his confidence and touchiness near Zayn, even all the affectionate times together. Harry doesn't reciprocate the same feelings he thought Harry did. And he doesn't know where he went wrong. He was certain there was something there.

Right. It was probably the whole fake boyfriend thing.

Now he regrets every single thing that happened yesterday, but he does not regret the last month of reuniting with Harry. Never.

When he adjusts from the sleep in his system still, he slowly rises from the ground and ducks low to avoid having his face trapped in the material of the low tent. As he watches where he trails his feet, he realizes he has nothing to worry about considering Harry isn't there at all.

Outside of the tent, he spots Harry immediately, one of the take along burner stoves are heated with its propel as the smell of bacon roams the campsite. Nervously, Zayn saunters over to Harry, greeting him with a simple, pleasant, "Morning. Need help?"

"I've made twenty slices of bacon. Think you could make like ten sunny side up eggs?" Harry avoids his gaze, yet still talks to him in a civilized voice. Zayn doesn't think too much about it, instead obeying Harry's request, already grabbing a few eggs in his palms and cracking them over the large pan.

Zayn briefly leaves so they could fry on their own while he goes over to Louis tent, shaking it rapidly as if he's trying to work up a storm for Louis inside it, "Louis! Walk with me to the bathroom! I don't know where it is!"

"Shut the fuck up and go by yourself!" Louis argues, a stern morning voice full of venom strikes back at Zayn. He has enough knowledge and experience to be aware that he shouldn't wake up Louis so early, but that didn't stop him. He's in need to use the restroom but doesn't want to walk alone. In fear of being lost or having a rabid animal approach him, Zayn would rather pee on one of the trees behind his tent than to go alone.

"I was just about to go brush my teeth. You could join me." Harry comments while he takes charge of the eggs that were suppose to be on Zayn's watch. Already into the morning, he's failed on helping Harry. Maybe that's why Harry doesn't want to have any official significance between them. Zayn lacks proper efficiency whenever he seems to be preparing a meal with Harry.

"Sorry about that." Zayn nudges with his chin, in the direction to the six eggs that Harry is already storing into a container. "But yeah, I'll go." Zayn allows Harry to display all the meals on the cement table and puts clear covers on them before the two head to the direction of the toilets and showers.

The walk is quiet between the two as they walk. It's the worst tension they've ever had, even when they were a couple and argued. This beats everything, and to be honest. Zayn does not even think this is that bad, there is no reason Harry should be avoiding him. Zayn has every right to avoid Harry even though he's not actually doing it, still talking to Harry, still up for Harry's suggestions. He was rejected by someone he really adored, and yet, he can't stray away.

Zayn can't.

"Harry. What... Uhm, I do not really know what I am trying to say here. Simple. I will just say sorry for whatever. That was probably stupid of me to ask that. You run a single's club. It was bold and stupid of me." Zayn trails off quietly, when he looks over to Harry, he sees that he's got earphones in.