Retrograde | ZS

XIV. Definitely

Considering its summer now, people are home, children and whoever babysits them are home. Meaning, the pet care shop gets some solitude. Nobody comes during the morning, people barely show up during the afternoon, and nobody comes at night either. Yet, they're still open seven days a week from six to nine.

The doorbell alarms Zayn from him leaning against the rolling chair behind the desk, he's on his phone as the usual when it isn't busy. When he looks up his lips part in surprise. "Oh, hi Marcel."

"Hello! Louis told me you guys just got back from a singles camp event this weekend. That kind of gave me a little push to do something since, you know attended a singles event. See, I got you lunch. But it comes with a question." Marcel raises the brown paper bag and puts it on the counter. Zayn now inching away from his workspace and trailing to stand in front of Marcel.

"I want to get back together. We broke up because the winter break semester started to end. A new semester was starting again. But its summer and we have time. A new semester will start after summer, which means we have still almost three months." Marcel explains.

But his explanation isn't completely true. The main reason, that he obviously never told Marcel, is because he's too much like Harry. Zayn felt as if Marcel was a replacement for Harry, and he didn't want that.

"That's not it." Zayn inhales a deep breath before confessing something that might seem a bit too edgy for Marcel, "I was afraid to love you. You reminded me too much of someone unobtainable. I knew I almost felt it, but I didn't want to love someone again."

Another ring of the bell chimes as it echoes through the main entrance, Zayn ignores it, instead his eyes continuously flicker to Marcel's hand on his and Marcel's eyes.

"But I told you I loved you and you said, 'me too.' Doesn't that mean the feeling is mutual?" Boy, Marcel isn't as smart as his SAT scores prove. Sure he's book smarts and he knows how to win someone's heart, but he's oblivious with understanding people's feelings and what they truly mean behind their words.

Maybe that's why he liked him so much. But he already knows who he really likes, still likes, and doesn't want an innocent guy to play the role of being temporary.

If Zayn is going to commit to someone, he'd rather be sure that it's either nobody at all, or just Harry. If it can't be Harry, then he isn't doing the dating thing for a long time until he an surpass the feelings.

Zayn didn't love Marcel like that, he stopped before it could reach that point.

"There's a difference between me loving you and me being in love with you. Clearly, I said 'me too,' not those same three words you told me. I'm sorry." Zayn takes a deep breath, his hand now holding Marcel's tighter, another hand onto his cheek. "There's someone out there that's the most indescribable person in my life right now. I'm in love with someone, and I've been for the longest time. Even if he doesn't care, doesn't notice. I know you got the idea that I'm single, but that doesn't mean my heart is. I'm waiting for him for who knows how long."

"But why do you want someone who isn't there for you now? I'm here. Right here." Marcel mumbles, Zayn feeling awful for the tears welling behind his glasses so he takes them off for him, "I could tell you the same thing. I know someone who wants you. I'm sorry that I'm mentally unavailable. It's love, you fucking get it or you don't. And clearly, neither of us are getting mutual feelings. Don't you still want to be friends?"

"I don't know if I can be friends yet. You just rejected me, the third time already. Listen, would you be friends with the person you love right now?" It doesn't take long for Zayn to respond to Marcel's question with a simple, "Yes. We are friends."