Domestic Life Was Never Quite My Style

Chapter 27

Let's Get Drunk! (But Not Too Much, Jesus Christ We Have A Kid.)

Alex's POV

I woke up at 4 A.M. to my phone buzzing, and yawned.

Not this shit again.

I scrambled to answer it before John woke up.

"Hello?" I said groggily, and walked into the bathroom.

"Alex?! Thank god I'm freaking out!"

"Laf? What's wrong?"

"Everything is going wrong! Washington had a fucking heart attack again! He's-"

"Yeah, about that-"

"No! Basically the only person in my life who has served as some sort of father to me is in the hospital on my wedding! And look! There's a 43% chance of rain! It's an outdoor wedding, Alex!"

"Laf, your just freaking out. It happens to everybody before their wedding. It happened to me, and-"

"At least I didn't try to run away!" He yelled.

"...'Kay, fair point. But everything's going to be fine. I'll go drive to the hospital and see if Washington can leave today. Also, in the off chance that it rains, they have cute little clear umbrella things. If anything, it'll look cool."

"Okay, fine, but you know rain fucks up my hair!"

"You'll be in it for like 15 minutes, it'll be fine."

"Okay, fine. Go to the hospital, I'm gonna go put on a peanut butter facemask. It's supposed to rejuvenate me or some shit, I don't fucking know. Thanks. Bye." He said then hung up.

I grumpily drove to the hospital in my pajamas, sighing at Laf. He's a total bride-zilla.

I mean, I was pretty bad too, but I didn't make people drive to hospitals at 4 AM to see if they can discharge my college professor.

"Hey, is George Washington here?" I asked.

The nurse raised her eyebrows. "Visiting hours are over... come back at nine."

I sighed. "I'm not here to visit. Do you know when he's going to be let out?"

"I can't give that information to non-family."

"Well... He's my husband's half-sister's adoptive father... that counts right?"

"Wait, so you're his son-in-law?"

"I'M NOT HIS- Yeah, sure. Sorry. Force of habit." I said, then sighed.

"Good enough for me. He's supposed to be released at 12 P.M. tonight." She said, then tried to close the little window in front of her desk, but I put my hand in front of it.

"See, that's not gonna be good for me, actually. Yeah, two of my best friends are getting married today, not like... separately, together, ya know? Like... gay together. And neither of them really have a father figure, so you gotta let them go, because the Washington tradition is to basically walk his students with shit dads down the aisle, like he did for me. So yeah. Gonna need you to release him. And he's my boss, and we need to work on his future presidential campaign. Don't tell anyone I said that though. Our secret."