Connection

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Nezumi's POV

I shoot up in a sitting position, coughing non-stop as my throat itches and burns. I try grabbing a cup of water I left on the desk last night but my coughing fit has my hands trembling too hard to hold on to the cup properly. Nana slowly opens her eyes to find me coughing, holding my throat for dear life.

"Oh my God, Nezumi?! Are you okay?" Nana says, worry in her voice as she reaches for the cup of water and places it on my mouth.

I try holding in the coughs and drink a sip of water, but I end up coughing the water out. Nana, who sees that the water is no help, moves her hand to my back and start rubbing it, trying to calm down my breathing.

After a few minutes, my throat finally decides to listen to my will and stops bothering me. The itch in my throat had calmed down quite a bit, enough for me to believe it wasn't even there in the beginning.

After a moment of calming down, I realized something. Shion had been grabbing to the back of his neck before I woke up as if he had felt pain similar to the last time we had talked through the dream. That's very odd, it seems that every time we dream of each other, or if we enter each other's subconsciousness, we wake up as if we were ill. Guess I'll have to see if I dream of him tonight to find out if that's true.

"Are you okay?" Nana asks as she stands in the doorway, her face twisted in worry.

"Yeah, I think I'm fine now," I tell her.

"That's good to hear," Nana says as relief starts to fill her small smile.

"I'm sorry it's so sudden, but I think I have to go now," I say to Nana as I swing my leg over the side of the bed and stand up.

"What do you mean?" She pretends to not know what I'm talking about, but her eyes are filled with a lingering sadness of not wanting to let go.

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave, now. Oh, and also, I won't be going to No.6 anymore, there's somewhere else more important that I have to go before I can head to No.6."

"Wait, why?" Nana asks as she follows me when I walk out of the room. "Can't you wait until tomorrow? Please? This is too sudden!"

"I'm sorry, but many lives are going to be gone if I don't leave now," I say to Nana as tears well up in her eyes. "Remember, I'm not going to leave you, I'm just not going to be by your side for a couple of months. You always have Sat-chan if you need help. I'm sure her mother wouldn't mind you staying with her for a couple of months."

Nana doesn't argue with me any further, but she wraps her arms around me and bury her face in my chest. Her tears stream down her face and wet my shirt as I rub her back to comfort her in any way I can. I use my other hand to hold the back of her head, pulling her into a tighter hug.

"You're going to be okay," I say, voice cracking. Many people have interpreted me as a cold, heartless individual because of the past I have. Plus the personality I put out there for them to see, but if they knew me long enough, they'll probably realize that I'm nothing but a weakling with a bunch of openings sooner or later. Living with Nana for over a year had given me too much time to spend with her, which had allowed me to open up to her. In many ways, it had probably been a good thing that I have someone to open up to, but having something to protect just makes me weak. Having both Nana and Shion to protect just makes me weaker than I already am. It gives me a weak point for others to attack. If they were in any danger, I think I would risk my life to protect them and that is definitely a sign or weakness.

I hate that I am weak, but I don't want to hate myself for loving them.

They're all I have, and all I will ever have.

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