cuffed • g.d

18.

I felt this weight get off my chest as I continue to tell my story like all this built up hurt was finally escaping. I was laughing, crying, angry and then happy. But I was surrounded by people who understood. I was surrounded by people who cared. Once I was finished I left people in shock. Kai climbed down the bunk and gave me a hug. Her big curly hair rubbed my cheek like a soft blanket. I hugged back, apparently that was an invitation for a hugging party because Grayson and Aaron both got up and hugged me. It felt good, for the first time in my life I had found a purpose.

Suddenly I felt a rush of depression run through my veins, I stared at the ground and that caught Grayson's attention. "What's wrong Taya?" He asks touching my knee. My leg tingled at his touch. "It's just everything is going so well, I've found friends people who give a damn. But it's all TOO well, nothing ever goes this good for long so I know for sure something is gonna ruin it and I'm gonna end up alone again." I mumble pulling down my sleeve to get ready to wipe the off the tears getting ready to fall.

Grayson rises up and sits next to me and begins to speak, "You don't ever have to feel alone again and if you do come here and we'll be waiting for you." He smiles. I looked at the dark orange clock the lay on top of the dresser next to the bunk. 11:55 p.m.
"Shit! I really should be going home now. My dads in a tough spot right now with my sister moving out and stuff, and I kind of want to be there for him." I said to Gray and Aaron. "We'll walk you." Aaron says putting on an old pair of sneakers. "It's not safe alone at night, especially for young girls." Grayson nods. Aaron puts Kai to bed and we head out.

We make it to my house within 20 minutes. I make my way towards the door but turn to thank Aaron and Grayson. "Thank you guys for... pretty much everything you did tonight." I laugh. Grayson smirks and looks at the ground. "You're welcome." They say in unison. I couldn't help but smile big, I run over and hug them both tightly but quickly release. "Fuck sorry I didn't mean to-"
"No it's fine." Gray smiles as he pulls me back for another hug. "I'll see you later yeah?" He asks stepping back from our ever lasting hug.
"For sure." I smirk. I wave bye to Aaron and make my way inside. I peek my head through the side windows to see if dad was in the living room, I saw no shadows of him so I figured it was safe.

I creep inside and shut the door behind me, I couldn't help but waltz around from all my happiness. I laugh aloud as I remember the funny stories Aaron had told us when we were talking. It was such a good night, but it was about to end quickly. I turn and see my dad come running from upstairs.

"WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU? I THOUGHT YOU HAD LEFT ME LIKE THE REST OF THEM! WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU WERE." He was going crazy. I wasn't sure what was going on, I knew he hadn't been drinking because if he even takes a sip the CPS would be here in 5 minutes.
I approach him slowly. And he begins to break down in tears. I knew what was going on. Without drinking he has to face reality, he can't just drink his pain away he has to face the pain and let it wither through his body and he has reached his breaking point.

I sat on the floor beside him and hugged him, no matter how much he has hurt me and put me through I know how much it hurts to face the reality of feeling like nothing.