Hot Chocolate.

Chapter Twenty.

We sat watch 'The Blair witch project' in the bus, snuggled under a duvet on the sofa, the other boys had gone out for the day and Nathan and I thought we'd make the most of the time we have alone. We try to spend every waking moment with each other, rebuilding our friendship, connecting the broken threads. He played with my hair, attempting to plait it, I relaxed into his body, his chest rising and falling on my back. I wasn't scared, I mean, it's just an old scary movie, nothing to worry about. I'm not a baby, I can handle scary movies....pft no worries. Nathans hands travel onto my shoulders rubbing them softly in circular motions, I sighed contently, I love days like this and how I wish we had more of them. 

Max and Megan had finally gotten it together officially, though they haven't announced it yet, Tom is really, really getting it on with this girl named Helen, always speaking on the phone, texting, arranging to see each other. Rhian was obviously all over Jay, though she had claimed her love to Thomas- she is very secretive when I was her what's going on....I think she knows Tom has Ellen, but just moving on is slightly.....quick? I wish she would tell me who she likes, I like to know all the gossip these days as it used to be based around me and I'm finally drawing less attention to myself by being a idiot. 

I cannot stop thinking though, when is Nathan going to ask me out? I mean, we've both made it obvious that we like each other, in my case- love. But I thought he would of asked me out again since the last disastrous time. Maybe Nathan is as clueless as I felt at first, I'm used to how I feel now, I'm used to the longing and the needing and the wanting. But I've learnt to live with it and just wait for the right time, but I don't want to force him into something, or pressure him. It is down to him, if he wants us to be well us, then I want him to be fully sure of it and make the move.  I hate how we are in this stage between friend and lover, little kisses, little touches, little words every now and then........

"Is this boring you as much as me?" Nathan asks, braking my train of thought,

"Yeah, can we do something else?" I ask turning to face him and poking his nose softly,

"I would, but sound check is any minute and then it's show time." He says with a sad smile,

"Oh okay, go on then, you need as much sound check time possible- must be hard for the tech guys to auto tune your screeches." I laugh, he slaps me and laughs before pushing himself up,

"See you in a bit Love." He announces ruffling my hair and heading to the door,

"In a while crocodile....and you forgot the you." I add with a smirk,

"You?" He asks his face crumpling in confusion,

"Love...you." I say as if he is stupid,

"Oh right, love you love!" He laughs, before closing the door,

"Yeah....love you too." I sigh.

How can he make me feel so special, when I am a nobody, no celebrity on a red carpet. He just makes me want to be me rather than dream of being someone else- but if 'me' didn't have a Nathan included then I would waste my life away dreaming. If I wasn't Nathans' friend then, god, I would probably be like all these other fan girls, screaming his name, dreaming about him every night- okay I do this anyway but.... would I really be like that? No, because I wouldn't love him, I wouldn't know him like I know him now, I wouldn't be at this concert now, or I would, but without speaking to Nathan. 

I wish sometimes, I never met Nathan, so I would not of had to go through all of this pain. But then I see him and I scold myself for ever thinking that because Nathan, by far, is the best thing in my life and will always be the best thing in my life- whether I'm  with him or not, whether he has forgotten me in a couple or years or we are dating. I do hope the latter.