Captain America Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Steve Rogers Fan Fic - The Constant

Chapter Thirteen: James Barnes - Nightmares

James Barnes - Nightmares

James notices a difference, but it takes him a few days to realise things had changed so drastically. His nurse is with him all of the time now and the only orderlies he sees are the one who worked with her. They are kind, attentive and he sees they do not carry batons. The guards are different as well. He no longer sees the two who helped rape him.

Freya has told him that things would be different, and he begins to believe her and begins to hope.

He is also feeling better. His wounds are healing, and he has not been taken to the main room in over a week. They are allowing the worst of his injuries to heal first before they begin to create any more. The food he is given to eat is fresh, palatable and there is always plenty of water. The drip is kept on when needed and he is now able to make do with only a low percentage of the morphine.

He doesn't feel so dizzy all the time and he actually begins to feel stronger in himself. Several times a day they allow him to get out of bed. At first he was able to manage only a few steps, but now he is able to walk with their help down the corridor. The guards walk with them, but James knows he is still not in a position to be of harm to anyone.

The straps on the bed are gone completely and he can sleep in any position he needs to to get comfortable. If he needs the bathroom during the night he only has to ask. They are talking of turning the storage room next to his into a toilet and he knows his nurse is now sleeping on this floor. She is there any time he needs her.

His room and bed are kept clean. He has regular showers, and clean clothes - even his own toothbrush. They have exchanged the gowns for pyjamas so that he doesn't feel so exposed, so vulnerable.

Unbeknown at first to his nurse and orderlies, Doctor Lehmann pays him a visit during the first week of changes. He doesn't want the patient to get to comfortable, he wants him to know what is at stake, he wants to keep lowering his defences.

Keep him on edge.

He speaks in broken English, but it is good enough for James to understand what Lehmann is telling him.

Lehmann first tells him that they have changed the way he is looked after to show how generous they are. He tells him they will begin again the important work and that there are still many trials and tribulations ahead of him - in other words, they will start to hurt him again soon. And, he says, they are very pleased with his progress.

"The nurse was clever in what she told us, Sergeant Barnes." Lehmann sits on the edge of the bed and James would have liked to have moved away from him but he doesn't feel he can - doesn't want to show he is cowed by this man.

A guard stands in the room, but James can see Lehmann feels safe enough to come this close. His old self would have tried something, anything but now he is beaten - almost broken - it is all he can do to survive each day without any hope of ever being free.

"The other nurses, orderlies pssht... Lehmann clicks his fingers suddenly which makes his patient jump.

"...gone, dead, rotting in the ground as we speak." He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

Lehmann gets up and wanders around the room picking up objects and putting them down again speaking in his own language, James has no clue as to what he is saying.

Eventually, the doctor comes back to his bedside. "The nurse she is smart. Do you like her?"

James does not answer. He does not know if it is question or Lehmann is just confirming something.

"Come now. We are both men! I asked if you like her?" he says, and James realises an answer is needed. His mind is still easily confused and he feels a fog descending. Is this a test? A trick? What does he say? His ears begin to buzz and it feels like he cannot hear properly so he is unsure as to whether his answer is heard or not because his voice is so quiet.