Chapter Ninety-Three: Burden of Proof

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Burden of Proof

Arthur and Anna Bowman: 1945/46

It has been three months since the soldiers came and took Freya away. Three months since they were told to forget they had a daughter. Three months since Anna had last smiled properly.

Arthur comes awake suddenly, heart thumping as though he has been running. The room is fairly dark, it is just after dawn. He reaches out to touch his wife in bed next to him, but Anna is not there. There is just an empty cold space.

Arthur fumbles to light the lamp and then puts his slippers on. The door to their bedroom is open.

"Anna?" he calls, and holding the lamp he makes his way out of the room and on to the landing. The bathroom is empty and he gets a terrible sinking feeling as he feels a cold wind moving through the house. He goes downstairs, and into the kitchen. The back door is open.

"Anna?" he calls again, but quietly now because he knows she is not in the house. He knows she has gone out. He knows she is looking for Freya.

Anna's mental health had never been good and as she has gotten older it has worsened. When Freya had been here she could help with her mother's condition, she seemed to know the right thing to say, how to calm her but, in the last three months Anna has declined at a worrying rate.

Arthur puts the lamp on the table, kicks off his slippers, and struggles to put on his boots. There isn't time to dress properly; he grabs his heavy overcoat and scarf and then plunges out of the door into the patch of land at the back of their home. In happier times there used to be a garden planted here: flowers and vegetables and Anna would sit out in the rare sun and Arthur would watch her soak up the rays of sunshine.

His beautiful Anna.

As he looks out over the snow covered ground he can clearly see a trail of footprints leading into the forest and he hurries alongside them, calling her name - but there is no reply. He doesn't know how long she has been out here. It is so cold. Her coat was still hanging in the hall so she must just be in her nightdress. He sees something lying in the snow and cries out when he sees it is one of her slippers - then five feet away he finds the other one. She is now barefoot.

The forest is less dense here but the snow is falling again, gently and he can still follow the tracks until they peter out. He is in a small opening. If he looks up he can see the sky. He looks around, turning as he does so, and then he sees her.

"Oh Anna," he murmurs as he goes to her. She is sat on the ground, leaning up against a tree, her nightdress is as white as the snow, her skin pale and her hair, which is now completely grey, falls around her shoulders. For a moment he thinks she is dead but as he crouches down she opens her eyes and they are full of tears.

He sits down beside her as she weeps. "I can't find her. I can't find our daughter," she says and he reaches out and takes her in his arms and she bows her head against his chest. She is freezing cold.

He needs to get her home. "Oh Anna. We must get you back home, back into the warmth." He goes to stand but she does not move. He looks down at her and she shakes her head.

"Don't make me go there, don't make me go home. Freya isn't there, she isn't there Arthur, they took her away, our daughter, they took her away." Her voice reflects such a deep sorrow.

He knows what he should do - even if it means dragging her back - but truth be told, he is tired. And he knows he only has weeks left before he will have no choice but to have Anna institutionalised.

So instead he struggles to remove his coat and goes to put it on her, but she stops him and instead he wraps it around both of them then twines his scarf around her neck and she curls up to him. It is so bitterly cold. He can feel the warmth leeching out of his body and hers; her skin feels like marble and he can see how tired she is.

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