Captain America Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Steve Rogers Fan Fic - The Constant

Chapter Eighty-Five: If Wishes Were Horses

If Wishes Were Horses

"If wishes were horses..." Bucky murmurs and Steve finishes "...we would ride."

"Yeah," Bucky looks down at the beer in his hand and then takes another pull from the bottle again. "So, this weekend..."

Steve groans. "I thought we had already decided on that," he says.

And Bucky smiles that Bucky smile. "We did. We're going."

The young Steve groans again. How many times has this been that Bucky has arranged a blind date for him? Fifty? One hundred? Feels like more.

"Can't really call it a blind date," Bucky argues. "I'll be there too."

"Yeah, but its not you I would be dating so..." Steve says thinking, he wishes it was - at the same time Bucky is thinking the same.

"Now theres a thought," Bucky murmurs, not realising he has spoken aloud.

"What?" Steve asks.

"I didn't say nothing," Bucky is sure he blushes. Lucky for him that Steve is deaf on that side.

"Anything," Steve corrects him without thinking. "You didn't say anything."

"What?" Bucky says, and Steve looks at him and then laughs.

"We sound like a double act..."

Bucky smiles that smile again – the one that always makes Steve feel warm inside.

"Hey pal, I've got news for you. We are a double act. Always will be!"

*

The memory makes Steve smile. He cannot remember the blind date - probably another disaster and they ended up on their own - but he does remember watching Bucky drink that beer and thinking 'I wish I was that bottle.'

Memories like this sneak up on him all the time these days. Sometimes he will ask Buck if he remembers them, but other times he doesn't because those are the bad days when he can see the struggle Bucky is going through and he doesn't want to add to it.

Bucky is sat opposite him at the table and sees him smile. Steve sees the query on his face.

"Do you remember when we heard that saying for the first time? You know, If wishes..."

"...were horses, beggars would ride. Yeah," and Bucky leans back smiling. That's a blast from the past; they spent a week applying it to everything they could. A beautiful girl would walk past and Bucky would start it and Steve would end - but they always changed 'beggars' to 'we'.

"But now we know theres no such thing," Bucky says, the smile fading. Steve frowns as if he doesn't understand. "Wishes," says Bucky. "Theres no such thing."

"No...I guess not."

They are in the kitchen. They had been out for a run together before returning to grab a cool beer from the fridge. They're sat at the table, Steve watching Bucky drink and as he had done so many years ago, wished he was the bottle.

As they finish up they realise someone has walked into the room, and now cannot decide whether or not to walk out before they are noticed. It is Freya. She realises it is too late and Steve smiles and beckons her over.

"I just thought..." she starts, as he says: "We've just finished."

There is an uncomfortable silence. Bucky finishes his drink but doesn't move. He holds the bottle in his hand turning it around and around but looking at the table. He doesn't want to get up, doesn't want to walk past her, because if he does he knows he will reach out and touch her. And if he touches her he knows he will not let her go.