The Other Side (geetrick)

*2

They call me troubled.

I can't be upset with them. They've yet to reach this level. I doubt they ever will. They don't exist in the same plane of mind as me. They've never crossed into a different dimension purely through mind and soul while they take in the Colorless World.

They don't exist. They only survive.

Perhaps I only seem to speak in riddles to you. One day you'll come back and resonate with something. I can't give your instructions. They don't exist. We must all follow our own paths. Perhaps yours won't lead you to the Purple World or maybe you'll have a world of your own. I've never seen anyone else here.

"This "purple world", you claim to actually see it?"

"Not with my eyes. My eyes are locked here. They're the only thing that snaps me back to this world. They keep me grounded."

"And why do you think you're still 'grounded' here?"

"I'm trapped. "

"So you want to get to the Purple World? Do you think of what you'd be leaving behind here? Your family, your parents, friends, your brother."

"If it'll help them down their own path. It's not personal. There aren't feelings. No happiness, no sadness. It's just beauty."

"So this Purple World, could you please try to explain it more in depth to me?"

"It's kind of like this one. I couldn't give you a clear picture, I've only had glimpses. "

"Let me: so it's like this world only purple?"

"In appearance yes. "

"What's the difference?"

"This world exists for the physical. The other is only for the spirit. 
I feel more connected to the darker. They're waiting in my house. I feel them but haven't seen them yet but I known will. . Maybe when I cross over I will."

"Does that make you hesitant to 'cross over' at all?"

My eyes hardly blink. They remain open and distant.

"No. I've been afraid but I've been lead to believe I need to fit into the spectrum."

"The spectrum?"

"Good and evil. Black to white. I've been on the white side my whole life. I need to fade in more with the darker.  I don't like to think in simply those terms. I don't like leaving the purple."

"And so the purple, does it exist only for the darker?"

"The purple exists only for the purple. Black, white," I shake my head. "It's purple."

"So purple is neutral?"

"It's not neutral. It's nothing. It's purple. I haven't seen enough."

"When do you see it?"

"I'm allowed glimpses of it. I loose it most times. The dark pulls me down so that I can't see it. I went there in meditation once. Into the woods, a village, a pond."

"And do you think that world will be better then this one?"

"That's not the question. "

"Then please help me to understand what the question is."

"I was meant for that world."

"How did you get here?"

I remain still for a moment, letting the question absorb into my mind.

"Do you think it was some sort of mistake?"

"There are no mistakes. Every event leads us forward."

"Right. What does it lead us into?"

"Light. Enlightenment. Every path is different. They don't lead to the same place."

"So the Purple World is yours?"

I am the Purple World's.

"So it's not that it was made for you but the other way around?"

"Yes."

"I mentioned this a while ago but how do you think your loved ones would feel if you, as you said, "crossed over." "

"I'd hope it lead them forward to understanding."

"Do you believe your family loves you?"

"Love isn't the goal."

"What is?"

"There is none. We go where our paths lead us."

"Is there ever a reason?"

"The spirit understands no reason. "

"Well your family isn't 'enlightened' as you are. They won't understand you "crossing" the way you intend it. They exist in this world and see you as a physical being. They need you in this world."

"I wasn't meant for this world."

"I know, Gerard, but they don't understand that. They see you as their son, their brother. They want you here in this world. Couldn't you just wait to cross over?"

"I'd like to address first, I am no ones son."

"Are you opposed to the gender, the title, the family relationship, something else?"

"I'm not strictly a masculine entity. My energy is a mixture of femininity, neutrality, and masculinity."

"I understand but could you please answer my previous question?"

"I could wait. It does seem selfish to keep me here."

"Isn't it selfish to try to leave for your benefit and your loved ones expense?""

"They'll understand."

"How do you know?"

"I can feel it."

"Well, it looks like our time is up. I want you to think about that till tomorrow, okay? I want you to think about your family and their feelings. Can you do that for me?"

I'm not lead to answer. My eyes remain fixed at what in this world is a wall. I can't quite see what's underneath it.

"Gerard? I need an answer."

My mouth opens, my eyes not wavering.

"Gerard, have you been taking your medication?"

He knows the answer.