Coming Home // Sidemen AU (Minizerk)

Reunited

This time the drugs don't send him into complete darkness. This time his thoughts are still there, visible in some muddled and interweaving dreams.

In one of the dreams he is five years old again. He's at the park, the one he always went to. His parents were arguing again. He used to stick around and try and defend his mum but that always just made his dad angrier, and then his mum would just get even more hurt, as well as him. He'd learnt it was best if he just wasn't in the house at all.

Getting around was no problem, even for a child so small. He'd mastered the tube at a young age. Knew how to slip through the larger gates so he didn't have to pay for a ticket. Knew his way around most of central London. Knew how to blend into the crowds so people wouldn't pick him out as a five year old kid on his own.

It's sunny in his dream, there's a lot of kids around. Smiling, shouting, laughing, playing; just being normal kids. He's unsure what exact day it is, but he knows he's five judging by his height and the clothes he's wearing. Although he is seeing the world through the eyes of the five year old version of himself, he has no control over his movement or actions. So when his young body decides to make it's way over to the roundabout, he has no choice but to observe.

His world lurches as five year old him hops on mid spin, and feels the dizzy sensation as he leans back and lets the wind blow in his face. At the time it might have been fun, but there is sense of dread ever present in him at the moment, although why it is there, he can't quite remember. Afterwards he makes his way to the climbing frame but there are a few older boys causing a bit of mayhem and he decided to steer clear of them, he'd had enough fighting that day. Instead he heads over to the fireman's pole and starts jumping up at it, trying to scale it. Why not.

A voice behind him catches him off guard, a voice he knows.

"That's not how you're supposed to do it."

He turns and is shocked to come face to face with five year old Simon, although then again there's no reason he should be, they met nearly every weekend at this age. He just hadn't been expecting to meet the boy for the first time...again.

The slightly younger boy is watching him curiously. Blond hair and big blue eyes, the type of kid other adults would fawn over if they passed him on the street and whisper to their friends about how adorable he was. He's dressed in cool clothes, new ones and Josh feels a slimmer of embarrassment for his hole ridden attire, although he's not sure if that's from him now or the him back then.

"Says who?" Little him answers, a small smirk playing on his lips. Even though he had no idea who this boy is, he was unable to stop himself from smiling.

Little Simon looks confused by his answer. "Everybody does it the other way," he replies, his face falling in the way Josh always remembered it doing when he didn't understand things at that age. As an adult Josh thought he looked pretty cute. Maybe as a child he did too.

He feels his small shoulders shrug and his mouth quirk into a smile again. "Maybe I'm not everybody." Josh would have laughed out loud if he could have. He always was told he was a smart-mouthed kid. Perhaps that's why he always angered his dad.

He watches as the little blond boy looks around, and follows his gaze. He spots Simon's parents standing nearby, chatting together while glancing up every few moments to check on their children. They looked happy, just like Josh always remembered them; a far cry from his own mother and father.

"Where are your parents?" Simon asks.

He feels sad all of a sudden, five year old him was upset. His dad was most likely at the pub by now and his mum was probably trying to clean up the mess he'd made of their flat...or her face. He didn't get it. Why wasn't he allowed to have happy parents? "I don't know," he replies, dropping his gaze. It was easier to say than the truth.