Amisi: The Emancipation of a Wall Flower

Baby Joker|2

Emery

My mama always use to tell me, "Emery Amir Knox, you better grind until the day you die."

I never understood what she actually meant until I grew older, she and my father both implemented that message into me in different ways.

My mom was gritty and everything that she did was manifested by hunger, all actions were done by any means necessary.

Her grind was fueled by her ruthless nature.

She once said, "Who wants a 9 to 5, when carrying a .9, could get you millions."

River Harris-Knox had a great romance with danger, she loved him so much, she left me by my lonesome, when I was only eight years old. She left my father single with two young boys to raise.

I am tremendously resentful towards her--to be honest, I hate her with a passion--I  didn't talk to her until I was sixteen because until then the very thought of her made me cringe.

How could someone be so selfish?

However, every time I glanced at my reflection, I saw her.

It use to bother me but eventually, I got over it.

One thing that I learned is that you can't hold a grudge towards someone over 1,619 miles away from you, though she gets out in less than a year, she missed most of my life.

How is she entitled to anything anymore?

She knew that the world would offer nothing for free to a black man unless it was a sentence or a headstone.

She believed in the power of guns and she lived by them.

My father, on the other hand, was docile--ruthless but docile.

He believed in the power of education. He hated guns. He trotted them his whole life before I was born.

He says that I was the only reason why he stopped being in the streets, he didn't want to die by the gun he lived by. I only wished that my mother had the same sentiments. My dad finished his education at Southern and was pretty successful and his name still hold weight.

He's infamous.

I am a balanced mixture of the two.

I don't talk to my mom often because she's imprisoned in Staten Island.

She broke one of her precious rules; never get caught.

But she fell in love with an undercover cop.

My father lives with me, he's been my rock throughout the years.

I wish Amisi would stop being stubborn and leave,even get her own place.

I wanted her out of Queen's house a long time ago, so did my dad.

The military will eventually call for me,  I'd have to go around the world, and leave Kya. And I wasn't leaving her with Kwanza. I wouldn't have to worry about Amisi 'cause she would be in college--be done by the time I get back but then again she'd have Queen on her ass.

Queen is seriously batshit crazy.

She only wanted Assata and Amisi for the money the government provided.

After watching Amisi go into the building safely I drove off, heading to a meeting about business.
--
Amisi

People pushed and shoved through the crowded halls.