Don't Let Go ✔ (Editing)

25 - Just Like That

25

I sat in my mom's chair and spun childishly. Her friend sat across from me, typing away on her phone, but I found her eyes staring at me weirdly ever so often, but she remained silent. I flipped my phone in the air, then caught in my hands, out of complete boredom. My mom is somewhere around the building doing her job, while I'm stuck here with this woman who is practically ignoring me. I honestly think I could have stayed at home today; but for some reason, my mom found it necessary to carry me to work. 

I haven't been around lately but that doesn't mean I should be forced here. 

I groaned loudly and the girl across from me smiled at me then shook her head. I was about to talk to her, but she almost instantly put her head back down into her phone. Eventually I stand from my seat and walked away from her, and she didn't even seem to care. I don't think she really likes me that much. 

I aimlessly pad down the hospital's hallway searching for something of interest. However, as I was walking, a random doctor came to me asking, "Are you still volunteering?"

"No, I'm focusing more on the theory part of it," I inform her, watching as she nodded her head. She flashed me a small smile before walking off. I began my slow walk again this time dragging my fingers gently along the wall. I yawned softly as I walked. I'm so bored I want to sleep - and I'm not the type to sleep during the day. I can't do that.

I walked slowly and stared down at my shoes as I did so. I need to find something to do or I feel like I might fricking die (I know it's pretty stupid to be joking about death in a hospital like this, but the boredom is just that serious). When I looked back up, I found my mother walking to me eagerly. I furrowed my eyebrows at her as she grasped my arm and began to pull me along with her, but she didn't even explaining what she was doing. So I ask, "What are you doing and where are you taking me?" I tried to get out of her grip around my wrist, but was to no avail.

"He wants to see you," she tells me.

"Who? Who wants to see me? is Cody here?" I question, feeling a spark of happiness shoot through my body. My mother shook her head, "You're lover."

"My lover?" My eyes widened, "Mom, please don't use that term ever again."

She led me quickly to a room I've never seen before and quickly shoved me in before I could even begin to protest. I bite my bottom lip and quickly turn around to get back out of the door, but she had already closed it. So I though since I'm already here, I should just talk to him... since he was asking for me.

"Was there something you wanted? I mean, I don't volunteer anymore, but you're a friend I guess, so I could like get something for you... if you wanted something," I tell him, trying not to be awkward and looking down at the ground. I chew on my bottom lip but don't look up.

"You don't volunteer?" he asks.

"No," I swallowed air and finally looked up at him. My eyes bulged, but I tried for it not to be to noticeable. The sickness is slowly becoming him. He looked completely drained and the happy face was now shaded by the dreadful and mortified mask. I scanned his now frail body as he lay on the hospital bed in his new (to me) room. His eyes met mine a few seconds after and all the awkwardness and idiocy I felt a while ago to come in here has gone and I just want to be here with him.

"H-how are you feeling?" I ask. Ashton never stopped looking at me and I could feel his stare even when I had looked away to find myself a seat. There weren't any chairs like in his old room, so I remained standing. When I realized he wasn't answering my question, I went on to say, "Look, I'm sorry."

He furrowed my eyebrows, making me wonder if I wasted an apology (even though I actually owe him one). I took a step forward, "Yeah, I was an asshole and I'm sorry. You don't deserve to be treated like that."

Ashton rolled his eyes, "It doesn't even matter. I was just sort of worried about you than angry with you."

"Worried about me?" i chuckled softly, "I'm fine. I was worried about you."

"I don't need anyone to be worried about me," he almost immediately says. I rolled my eyes, "Well I am. I mean, look at you, you look really horrible."

Ashton furrowed his eyebrows then flashed a confused looking smile. I immediately began to apologized, saying, "I don't mean it like that. You look... good... I mean not as good as you used to, but good nonetheless... the bald head doesn't look too bad."

"Ethan, please stop," he smiled. 

"Okay, okay," I continued to smile at him, looking like a fucking clown fish. Eventually I just stop and look away. Not long after, I heard him ask, "Would you like to sit?"

I nodded my head, although I was actually in no mood to sit after I was sitting all day in place of my mom. But it's Ashton and I've always liked him. I made my way to his bed and took a seat with my legs hanging off. We remained silent for a while. It wasn't awkward though... but I didn't look at him. However, I could definitely feel him staring at me. It made me blush then look downward.

"My parents travel a lot," he broke the silence. I looked across at him, but he wasn't looking at me anymore. I bite my bottom lip and faced forward once again. Ashton continued, "They have absolutely no time for anyone besides themselves."

"That's really fucked up," I honestly say.

"Yeah, well I'll be dead soon, so they won't have anything to worry about anymore."

My head instantly shot to look at him, "Don't say that shit, Ashton."

"Ethan, it's true."

"I don't care, okay. Don't talk like that," I almost plead. I don't even want to hear the word 'death' or anything of the sort. Even when I see that he's close I don't want to have those pessimistic thoughts circling around my head. He's so special to me and I don't want to go through what I went through with Angel all over again.

"Fine, whatever."

"Can you change the subject now?" I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. 

"Okay..." he trailed off, "Uh I broke up with my girlfriend."

I instantly looked to him and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my cheeks. Ashton rolled his eyes at my happy expression. "That's cool," I simmer down and looked away.

"Cool?" he asked with a laugh.

"Yes. I hated her," I shrug.

"Why?"

I blink to him, wondering if I should just come out and say it. It won't matter now... I think we're in a better place. But I don't want to ruin it by bringing up my old (I think) feelings. "Uh she was homophobic." I finally decided on something to say about the bitch. There were a lot and I decided on that one. I feel proud of myself.

"That an okay reason.."

"Okay?" I scoffed, "That's the best reason okay. She's a hater. Plus I never liked you two together. She doesn't deserve someone like you." I look to him and flash him smile, but he didn't really return it. He just stared at me, but it wasn't a 'what the hell are you saying' kind of look. It was a look that honestly made me want to kiss him.

And just like that - just by that one look - all of the feelings for him came flooding back to me.

*~**~