Way Wedding

Bittersweet Ingested Pieces of You.

The last show of the tour was always a bittersweet one. I loved being on stage, it made me feel like there was live wire on top of live wire the feeling of what seemed like fresh love bonding with the adrenaline of entertainment making me go crazy. Choosing to conclude the show with All I Want Is Nothing. Playing silent solitude to the pain, the past, and the secrets that I had to get over if I wanted to have a life with Gerard.  I turned toward the guys gearing them up for the riff. The lyrics poured out of my mouth like a strangled screams against a moan. Leaving my voice, and throat fucked, but my ego sufficiently stroked.  The sounds my mouth was making left a streak of dominance to rip through me like a pair of scissors sliding down wrapping paper. With the parting words I walked off stage completely ignoring the yells for an encore. The little shits would just have to find some live videos on YouTube to have an encore. As forgiving as I was, there was something I had to do. A point I had to make to whom I wasn't quite sure. Fans were usually my first priority, but selfishly I knew I had to do this for myself, for him.  I walked straight to side stage as fast as my short legs could carry me, and pulled Gerard into me by his waist reaching my arms to wrap around his necks and drown his mouth in a bratty kiss full of teeth. His hands grabbed onto my waist pulling our bulges closer as they wanted so hard to break free.

"Fuck c'mon." I moaned breaking apart and grabbing his belt loops that had nothing looped through them as usual. The realization that he had bought new jeans while in LA, made a surge of nervousness through my body. He looked the same to me but had he gained or lost weight? Quickly making the math over in my head I reached to touch his torso feeling for a change in the skin that I had become attached to like a magnet. His rib bones pressed more into my palms than they had before he left, which may explain why I couldn't get him to take his shirt off the last 4 times we had fucked, made love, or fooled around. Pushing the lecture away from my head I knew it really did no good, but once we concluded tour I would attempt to remedy this situation. Combating his unhealthy habits with my coping ones. Cooking had become a passion since the end of My Chem, on down time all I did was cook and write. Feverishly trying to remake all of the dishes that my grandfather had raised me on. Attempting to feel close to him in any way that my fragile state of being could. It was something that made me feel closer to him even in his absence, but also was an attribute of me that Gerard couldn't resist. Whether it be to fuck me over the counter or my sick game of you have to eat before you can touch me. Together these two things usually got me what I wanted, Gerard healthy. In all honesty my love was and is a sick fuck, and could manipulate his way out of any situation but he had really tried over the years. Gotten better with his temper, his tendencies, only allowing a handful of things show through during the course of tour. Shaking those thoughts out of my head I led him to the back room that held out gear trunks. "Kiss me." I begged as he shut the door behind him and his feet walked closer to me. His neck looming over me, hazel eyes ablaze with lust, mouth parted as if he was going to bite me or speak some of the dirtiest words he ever had in me presence.

"Oh sugar." he smiled dipping his head down to my level and attacking my mouth with his teeth, tongue, and moans. My teeth pulled away from his mouth the way you move your jaw to pull a cigarette back into your mouth. Making a whimper sound out of his mouth. A knock at the door made us both jolt but then melt back together. Hiding wasn't mandatory anymore, and if I wanted to kiss my fiancé one more time I was damn well going to do it.

"Frank?" Evan's voice called from behind the door jerking my brain back into actual reality aside from lust and music. The memory of my children wafted through like a feather floating on a sunbeam making my chest clench together momentarily. The worry of Jamia's authentic attitude against this whole lifestyle change ripped through me making my brow break a cold sweat.

"Uh just a second." I called out hesitantly but focusing hard on my words to ensure they didn't stutter. Pulling at my clothes to straighten them and rippling my fingers through the areas of my hair Gerard's had been I attempted to put on the least guilty face I could muster as a mere human being. Locking eyes with Gee he smiled with more of a frown fighting through as he worried what this could be about. Evan had been respectful the entire tour, but distant which made me worry about the continued lineup of The Patience. He had been such a huge part of getting my solo music out, and with his support there's a big chance Gerard and I would have never connected.

"Hey... no rush, I'll just slip it under the door. See you later Frank." He mumbled out his mind finally running two and two together. As he feared seeing the father of his nieces and nephews in the arms of his ex bandmate/ gay lover/ fiancé caught in the act. Caught in a recurring act in life as Frank Iero of trying to emphasize nostalgia as a reminder of age, the one in question a hot dirty makeout session in a dim gear room with the door locked and our hands locked inside one another's body. A slip of paper flew through the small slit between the door and floor as I heard his heavy footsteps seemingly stomp away. Picking up the folded piece of paper that had my name messily written across it in an almost aggressive manner. Even the words from inside seemed imprinted on the white paper with blue traces of ink peeking through just enough to make an appearance and not be read.  Toying with it through my fingers I took a seat on a crate and pulled the two halves apart, revealing what was written behind those traces of blue ink.

"Frank,
         I mean no disrespect by this to you professionally. You've handled your last few months after some major life changes incredibly well. However on an emotional level as your friend I am beyond happy because you're happy. WIth Jamia in mind, my little sister; what you've done in the last few months cannot be dismissed. This is my notice that I will not join you on any other tours with The Patience, or any other music project you produce.  

                 Evan"

I looked up at Gee in disbelief as I saw his eyes dart down the paragraph reading it over to make sure what we had just read was correct. Muttering curse words under my breath in a mixture of Italian and English. Gerard took notice while wrapping his long fingers around my wrists and pulling me so my chest was on his. Leaving the choice of whether or not i was going to bury my head in his chest, or stretch up on my toes to lay my lips on his all up to me. I threw my arms around his neck in an instant and burying my head on his shoulder so that I could sniffle into the army green fabric of his jacket.

"I love you." we whispered at the same time as if we were questioning everything in regards to the last 5 minutes. Both of us shaking our heads in an instant as if shaking the thought away, our lips touched and my body pulled his as if there was no level of closeness attainable unless I started to ingest pieces of me.