Saving Grace (Narry)

Two

Two

After I had woken up I rolled over to my side, blinking my eyes open and smiling lazily at the one beside me. His blond hair, with slight dark roots showing, was flattened down in the front and then randomly sticking up in the back where he usually laid his head on his pillow. I glanced down at his face, appearing to me so peacefully, his dark lashes resting against the outer ridge of his cheekbones, his eyes moving under closed eyelids. 

I couldn't help but smile, wanting to reach over and play with his hair as he slept, hoping to not disturb him in his sleep. I remembered the mornings where I would always wake up and immediately hear Niall snoring. Even in his sleep he had the ability to amuse me. Whenever I actually wanted him to wake up I'd reach over and stroke his hair, speaking to him softly until his brain registered that I was talking to him, wanting him to be awake with me. Then he'd open his eyes, sleep still apparent on his face. He'd frown at me but his blue eyes mirrored this playful side in him that I couldn't help but slyly roll my eyes at.

Those were how our mornings together used to be.

Now, I was stuck in this place where I'd look at him and have fear to reach out to him because I didn't know if he'd want me to do that anymore since we've been going back and forth for so long about this family thing. I didn't want his blue eyes to look at me with annoyance and then he'd turn his back on me. 

Speaking of family, I wondered how it'd be waking up with a child in the mix as they'd grow older. It would start off with their cries, then moving onto us waking up and maybe softly tickling their stomach. Once the child was old enough they could race to our room and jump into the bed with us. I bet Niall would just love that and playfully attack them. I'd just lay there and watch with this huge grin on my face.

Those mornings would be my favorite. 

With a quiet sigh, I managed to get myself out of bed and out of our bedroom. I needed to figure out a way to distract myself for a little bit before the two of us would talk again. Hopefully Niall knew me well enough to know I'd want to talk about this as soon as we could. 

I walked into the kitchen, scratching my fingers along my scalp as I looked around to think about what I could possibly make the two of us for breakfast. I didn't want to be too extravagant and make him a five-course breakfast. Then he'd know something was up with me. Plus, I didn't think we had fresh fruit, or a juicer. I had to keep it simple so I didn't get Niall too anxious too soon. Plus, I needed to get rid of my anxiety somehow so I guess I thought I could manage breakfast. 

Not having really any idea of what I was doing, I began pulling food from the refrigerator and cupboard that I knew we usually had for breakfast. If anything else, Niall could eat another pastry from the bakery, which probably needed to be eaten anyway before they've gone bad.  Most of the time just had eggs on toast or just cereal. We weren't really the ones for getting out of bed to eat breakfast. We might have to start if we're going to have another mouth to feed, one that would need three meals a day.

When I put the toast into our toaster I couldn't help but to glance over my shoulder to look at the stilled computer. I felt like I could do some morning reading about Grace. Last night, after watching the film with Niall, I really started thinking about her and how I wanted to be the one who helped to give her another chance at living. When I first saw the link to the blog, I was expecting to just read it and move on to the next as I have always done. For some reason I couldn't shake Grace off. I kept wondering what she looked like, what she did during the day, what her favorite food was, could she talk yet or tell us that she was hurting? Did she know that she had this defect? Did she know she could die? I wondered how brave she was being and if I could ever tell her that.