Saving Grace (Narry)

Five

Five

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I must have clicked onto the 'refresh' button at least 20 times in the last, almost, three minutes. I was just waiting to see some change in my life and I wasn't just talking about the obvious: You have (1) new message.  I was also awaiting to continue whatever was suddenly happening with Niall. Even though I often shied away from him the other day, I still felt like we could somehow reconnect again. It wasn't just about Grace. It was about the family that I already had with Niall. I've come to realize that we were still together in a sense that I already had some sort of family. All I really wanted to do was add to that. 

I didn't even notice as Niall came up from behind me as I still sat in the chair, counting to 20 this time before I clicked the 'refresh' button. It was longer than what I had previously had been doing. I guess once his presence came around I slowed down so I didn't appear desperate still. I really didn't want Niall to think that of me. He didn't fall in love with me because I was trying to grasp on something that could easily never be mine. 

"So, how can I pry you away from the computer this time?" Niall asked with a slightly amused chuckle as he leaned his face over my shoulder to see what I was doing but I knew that he knew regardless of acting curious.

"You could always hug me again." I muttered into my hand as I rested my elbow onto the desk. 

As much as I craved for Niall to touch me in any sort of way, to show me any sign that we haven't lost our simplest forms of affection towards another, I wasn't expecting to be pulled into such a forceful hug. It did make me feel secure but I also felt like Niall was holding onto to me so he wouldn't lose me. He could have just given me a secure hug that was meant just for comfort but he really held me against him to the point where I was starting to feel pain. He would never intentionally hurt me though. 

"I might be glad for your sanity since you at least have work a few hours a day to keep your mind occupied on other things." He told me, running his finger through my hair after he gave it a gentle ruffling. 

I closed my eyes at his gesture but a sigh still managed to easily escape from my lips.

"Still no response, I suppose?" Niall asked me as he stood back from me.

I shook my head, my hand leaving the mouse so I could finally turn to look at Niall since I've greeted him when I came home from work. "It's been three days already, Niall. How could someone who seems so willing to reach out to the world not respond in over three days?" I asked him, feeling my slight agitation with Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson stir within me. I wasn't really angry with them. I was just annoyed easily these days. 

"Give it time, babe." Niall told me, causing me to just roll my eyes at him because I was also getting rather tired of hearing him say that to me. I guess it was the only thing he could really say since I've been acting like time didn't even want to move onward for me. 

The past few days I have been really putting myself into my work. Of course, I couldn't be stopped from checking my personal email during my breaks. I wasn't completely putting my sanity into control. I probably seemed like a compulsive addict by how many times I could check my email from any device I could lay my hands on. Once I got the answers, whether they were the ones I wanted or not, I would stop acting this way. At least that was what I told myself, and privately promised to Niall.