My Dearest, Laurens

A. Hamilton

I lead her out of the room and once we got outside I looked into her eyes and smiled. She blushed and looked down.

"Dearest Eliza, your beauty outshone everything in that room and I needed to talk to you alone to ask about your opinions and see if you would be suitable."

She seemed taken aback by my frank and formal ways of speaking. We ended up talking for hours and forgetting the rest of the group. She was wonderful. Maybe not perfect, but it would have been stupid of me to try and wait for the perfect person.

I arrived at the apartment late into the night to hear the sounds of someone throwing up. I walked to the bathroom door and opened it to reveal John throwing up and Lafayette holding his hair back. Lafayette looked up at me.

"Mom ami! Le petit John is getting very sick. I think he might have drank a bit too much. I took care of him."

"Merci. I can take care of him now."

Lafayette got up and twirled out of the room. He really did my do much for the stereotype of French people being eccentric.

I kneeled behind John and held his hair back. He finished getting sick and he got up and washed his mouth out with water, getting water all over the sink in his drunken state. We went to our bedroom and I helped him get his clothes off so that he could get into bed. I laid him down in his bed and tucked him in. I went to go lie down in my bed but John looked up at me.

"Will you lay with me?" I couldn't say no to his adorable face.

I laid down with him and he scooted closer to me. I slowly wrapped my arm around his neck and started playing with his curls. He smelled disgusting but he was so cute that I couldn't compel myself to move away from him so I fell asleep to the feeling of his soft breath hitting my chest.

I woke up to someone tracing my abdomen. I was a very light sleeper so anything could wake me up. I looked down and saw John lightly tracing my torso. His hair was slightly matted and he has large circles under his eyes but he was still so adorable.

He looked up at me and smiled.

"Good morning, Alexander."

"Good morning to you as well, my dear John."

He blushed and looked down. Just then I heard a knock on the door. I got up to get it and when I opened up the door, who would be there but the beautiful Elizabeth Schuyler. She smiled at me and I repaid that smile with another one.

"Eliza, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you again. Yesterday was amazing." She said, sheepishly.

I suddenly felt arms snake around my waist and a chin rest on my shoulder.

"Alexander, come back to bed."

John looked at me with puppy dog eyes. How could I say no this?

"I'll be back in a minute. Just let me talk to Eliza for a second."

He sighed and went back to the bedroom.

"Are you guys. . . ?" She asked.

"No, no. I don't think so, at least."

I was caught up in a moral dilemma. Did I want John or Eliza? I didn't even know if John liked me or not but it seemed like it. But Eliza was so beautiful and sweet. But I wasn't. I honestly didn't deserve either of them. I could never be more than a bastard, orphan, whore's son.