My Dearest, Laurens

J. Laurens

I talked to Alexander all throughout the night. We both talked about our fucked up lives. He told me about his mother's death and I talked about my father's abuse.

I couldn't bring myself to talk about my daughter though. No one knew about her and I especially didn't want Alexander to know how much of a deadbeat dad I was. I really wanted to be a part of her life but what I had said the year before was something I could never live down.

Sadly, that morning was Alexander's fist day of school and he couldn't miss it so he had to leave but luckily Hercules and Lafayette skipped to hang out with me.

After a couple of hours I got a text from Alexander.

Nonstop: I have a couple of hours until my next class starts so I'm going to come visit you.

I couldn't help but smile at the message. Alexander was just so amazing and sweet. He arrived about ten minutes later and came in with the biggest smile on his face.

He pranced over to me and gave me a big kiss right on the lips.

"Isn't educations just magnificent? I can't wait for all the essays I'll get to write and tests I'll get to study for!" He beamed.

"What are you on and where can I get some?" Herc joked.

I just smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. He was just so beautiful.

"Ugh, get a room." Laf yelled.

"Well, I mean, we are in a hospital room. You guys can leave if you want." I said.

Just then the doctor came into the room to inform me that I could leave but that I would have to have someone with me at all times. What kind of bullshit is that!? I could handle myself just fine. I was very angry but I agreed to be watched 24/7 by someone and I was on my way. I somehow made it to the last class of the day, Alexander walking me there. He wouldn't even let me walk across the street to our dorms by myself. Gosh, I was such a failure. I even failed at ending my failure! I felt so worthless.