The Elf Experience (KOTLC X Reader)

While Reading Lodestar

Me while reading Lodestar (Prepare for bullshit):

...I..No, I hate Sokeefe. I'd literally run across America and not stop once screaming SOPHITZ just to get my fucking point across.

Keefe, stop fucking flirting, my dreams are crumbling with every flirty sentence.

---

After a few more chapters of flirty Keefe that's trying to commit genocide on my dreams like they're Jews and he's Hitler~

I SHIP TIANA. NOT AS MUCH AS I SHIP KAM, BUT I STILL SORTA SHIP IT. WOOOP.

Holy shit, Tam and Linh's mom sounds so fucking sad and regretful for what she did..*immediately forgives the chuld*

Grady is such a wonderful father-husband figure. This is like watching Southpaw- I'm gonna cry.

Now I'm going to cry in pain. No flirting Keefe- NO FliRtinG

...*ships Wylie and Linh 10/10*..What name? Lylie? Or Winh? I like em both, Lylie sounds mystical. And Winh reminds me of Victuuri.

Raise your hand if you can't go through 5 sentences of Sophitz without squealing. Even if it's just Fitz mumbling against Keefe and Sophie being so close. Like, I squealed then I said "SOPHITZ" in this really weird raspy demonic voice that I've never used before-

A titanoboa...those movies about giant Anacondas have become real.

RUTHLESS. RUTHLESS. SAVAGE ASF. SOPHIE IS WILLING TO KILL KEEFE. SOKEEFE IS DEAAAAAAAAAD HAHAHAHHAHAAHAAAAAAAAA.

...I ship Grandor. Grizel and Sandor are my new OTP. Fuck Sophitz. This is adorable as hell. It's like watching Titanic. Only way way better on so many levels.

I mean Sophie isn't exactly willing to kill Keefe but now she seems pretty pissed.

I FEEL LIKE SHANNON SHIPS SOPHITZ. ESPECIALLY WITH WHAT SHE MADE FITZ SAY IN REACTION TO SOPHIE'S NEW ABILITY OUO

GOALS

I'm just gonna shoot myself down if Sophitz isn't real. I'M NEARLY DONE WITH THE BOOK. HHHH.

Would you blame us humans for only making elves our imagination? I mean seriously, imagine what would happen if we found out about Hydrokinetics. "PERCY JACKSON." And finding out that Pyrokinetics ruined the balance of everything. "EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED." Telepaths? "DR.PHIL." And if we found out Keefe existed.."GOD HAS TO BE REAL YOU GUYS. LOOK AT THIS FUCKING ANGEL HE BLESSED US WITH."

And when someone sees Grady..."WHY'D YOU CUT YOUR HAIR LEGOLASSSS"

When she described Keefe as a beautiful blonde boy I slammed the book close and my bookmark fell out. I accidentally lost my page in the hormonal selfish rage. Why can't I ship everything like a normal non-possessive teenager?

NO. THIS IS UNGODLY. THIS IS FIRST DEGREE MURDER. LETS ADMIT IT, WE ALL KNEW OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER WAS GOING TO DIE. BUT WE NEVER THOUGHT OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER WAS MISTER FORKLE.

Reading this while my brothers practicing his driving was a bad idea. We almost crashed when I started screaming. I feel the Sophitz coming on. But I didn't read more before anything happened. I want to. But I don't want to. Hhhh.

*Keefe walks in before they kiss* YOU SEXY BASTARD-

*finished the book*...Fuck all you Sokeefe shippers. You'll never sink Sophitz. *prepare yourself for a rant*

CLEARLY FITZ LIKES SOPHIE BACK. HE SAID "MAYBE WE CAN SKIP THE TALKING" THAT'S IMPLYING THEY KISS. AND I MEAN, HE SEEMED PRETTY EXCITED TO REDEEM HIS FAVOR. HE ALSO WANTED TO KNOW WHAT SOPHIES SECRET WAS REALLY BADLY. HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS. SEEMINGLY. HE RECIPROCATES. FITZ RECIPROCATES. AND IF YOU SOKEEFE SHIPPERS HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, CATCH ME OUTSIDE, HOW 'BOUT DAT- ANY DAY OF THE FUKING WEEK HOEEEE *starts clapping hands with every syllable* COME AT ME BITCH. COME AT MEE. I HAVE PROOF THAT SHE LIKES FITZ BETTER. AND HE LIKES HER BACK. ITS JUST LOGICAL. THIS AIN'T NO JOKE HOEEE.

....

Excuse my vulgarity in my frustration. I simply deeply love Keefe. But it's not even a possessive thing, truly. Sophie and Fitz are so adorable. And truly care about each other. So deeply. Hhhhhhhhh.

That was wonderful.

*one more selfish comment* It'd be so cool if I was in the 6th book as Keefe's new love interest. I'M KIDDING. DON'T RUIN ME. I just know how Keefe feels when it comes to being betrayed by his parents and being confused with his own feelings. And feeling compelled to joining the wrong people because he was made to. I don't know if its a crime anymore to fall off Mt. Everest into the Mariana Trench in love with a fictional character that matches your life with every single