A Guide to Being Super

Epilogue

So here we are at the end of our story. The events I just told you actually happened a few years ago, it's practically ancient history now. Dan suggested that I write this book not long after it all happened but I pushed it off until I decided that I had gained enough perspective to write it as well as I can. This section isn't technically part of the book, the ending of the last chapter is meant to be the official "ending," but I figured I'd tack on a little author's note at the end to give you a little bit of a "Where Are They Now?" thing. It might get cut and maybe no one will read it but there's no harm in writing it anyway.

All right, here it goes. Miraculously I was able to graduate high school even though my grades were fairly shitty (training all the time will do that to you) and I went on to college. I won't tell you which one, I don't need crazy fans tracking me there, and I'm writing this book during my summer vacation. Currently I'm taking a break from saving people, that's why I can tell you my secret identity. When I eventually reappear in the superhero scene, I'll use a different name, one better than Mighty Matt.

I had planned to do nothing during my summer break, maybe just hang out at the beach for a while, but then I got an interesting offer. Dan, taking my advice to open a superhero school and to never let Kelly Barnes get away, married Kelly and they opened their superhero academy a couple of months ago. The school's main schedule is focused on the summer, that way students can go to regular school and the academy and they wanted me to come in as a guest professor. I think it's because I'm just so charismatic and charming but Kelly mentioned that they were understaffed so maybe it's both reasons.

Anyway, that was part of the reason I decided to write this book now, I can use it in my class this way. Yes, I am going to be one of those professors that makes their students read books they wrote. Deal with it. The academy in general is actually doing very well even though it's so new. But that probably has more to do with Kelly than Dan. He may not be completely useless but I doubt he's good at running an entire school.

Now on to everyone else:

Ike and I are still best friends and keep in touch even though he went out-of-state for college and only comes home sometimes. There's times where we don't talk for a few weeks but then one of us will call each other and we'll talk for like an hour so it evens out in the end. I learned after I saved him that he hadn't been hanging out in the library just to avoid me, apparently the student worked at the circulation desk was cute and that enticed him to hang out there more. They dated but didn't make it past graduation, which happens. As far as I know he isn't currently dating anyone, so if anyone is interested I can hook you up.

Unlike with Ike, I haven't seen Faye since graduation. If I saw her I'd be happy to see her but we don't have much reason to contact each other. She moved out to California for school, which seems like the perfect place for her, and the last I heard she was dating a model. I'm sure their children will be gorgeous. Even though I miss her sometimes, I think things ended for the best. We may have been a bad couple but I wish her well in everything she does.

Rachel, my so lovely and so annoying sister, is doing well. She's killing it in high school and has become a sidekick for one of the other Cytropolis heroes, I'm not allowed to say who. She tried to convince Kelly and Dan to create a department of the academy for mortal and powerful sidekicks but they refused, saying that they didn't have the resources or the students to keep it going. But I'm pretty sure she'll wear them down one of these days. It's what she does best.

Let's see, who's left? Oh yeah, Lena. My former, and now reformed, nemesis. I see her around sometimes and I'm about to see her a lot more because now we're colleagues. PG, supposedly (I still don't entirely trust her), reformed her completely and now she's teaching at the academy while she goes to school in town. According to Kelly she's their best teacher, but maybe Kelly is just a good liar. But of course, who am I to treat her badly if she's reformed? I ran into her at the opening of the academy and I didn't recognize her because she acts so different now. Same red hair, freakishly tall, the works. But she looked so normal, so friendly, that I was so distracted that I had started flirting with her before I realized who she was.

Of course, since there was no going back from that I just decided to keep flirting, which she took as well as you might expect. First she told me to fuck off and then she informed me that she wouldn't be with me even if we were the last people on Earth, which I personally think was a little harsh. I then told her in response that the reason we were such good nemeses was because we have a little thing called chemistry and that she'd realize it eventually. I've mentioned that again every time I've seen her since.

To be honest, I only said the chemistry thing at the time because I wanted to save face but the more I think about it the more I realize that I'm completely right. I mean, we might as well give it a shot. She still tells me to fuck off when she sees me but I can tell that I'm wearing her down. I'm nothing if not persistent.

Okay, I think this is a good point to end our story for good. My first class is tomorrow and I'm going to need this book to teach it (I lied and told Dan I had it written ages ago so he's expecting me to have it). Plus, I need my beauty sleep if I'm going to impress my students (and Lena). I hope this book has kept you entertained and alive in all your endeavors. Good night and good luck.