☆ Tythan [Tyler×Ethan ] short stories ☆

From insecurities and something new

Hello there everyone! ^^
This is the second part of the chapter "From insecurities and lost footage", so I recommend you either check that out first or re-read it if you don't happen to have it in your mind anymore.
I'm sorry for my long pause, my life has been really, really stressful lately.
But I'll write asap if I can and find the right inspiration ~
Ship with respect and have fun reading! :)
RoRo [RollercoasterRodeo]

//The art for this chapter is drawn by Cosmicchara on Deviantart, I hope you don't mind me using it, otherwise I'm gonna change it asap :)//

ETHAN'S P. O. V.

I knocked at the door, but then just walked into his room without waiting for a response. I did that because I was really bad at waiting, which also includes waiting for an answer and because Tyler knew I was coming over anyway. Right?
It's only been a few seconds after his last message.
Wait! Didn't it seem weird that I arrived that quickly? Then again, what would he think of me if I waited for too long?
What was the 'right amount of waiting' or 'taking time' in a situation like this anyway?
Would my early arrival come across as weird, or did I only over think things again?
Would Tyler even care about stupid stuff like that? Probably not.

"You don't have to knock", he said as soon as he saw me, putting me out of my thoughts.
Slightly embarrassed, I bet my face must've turned at least a pale shade of red.
"Yeah, you knew I'd come over. So it's kind of unnecessary, right?", I asked, and laughed, internally facepalming for how stupid that was. With a soft smile on his face, Tyler just nodded. He stood up, without a single word leaving his lips, walked up to me and hugged me tightly.
I blinked a few times and could hear how my heart suddenly started to race faster.
Somehow it seemed to be pounding louder too, but maybe that was just my imagination.
It took me a few seconds until I could process what exactly just happened, what was going on and how wonderful Tyler's warmth and him hugging me in general felt.
I hugged back, smiling brightly.
It was such an amazing moment that I wish it would last forever.

"Thank you for everything...", I mumbled out, cuddling a little bit more onto him.
"Oh, that was nothing. You're welcome, my blue boy.", he said and let one arm go of me to brush through my hair. By the tone in his voice I could tell he was smiling, which made me smile even brighter.
There were no words to describe how happy and thankful I felt, at least none that I knew of. Then again, my vocabulary wasn't the best and I not a good author anyway.

I gently pushed myself a little bit away from him so that I could look him in the eyes.
"No really, thank you. You do so much for me! I mean for all of us, of course, but...
The things you do are so- ... I don't know what I would have done without you today!
Or any other day, you never fail to cheer me up! Thank you so much, Tyler.", I thanked him from the bottom of my heart.
He just sighed and smiled.
"You don't have to thank me for that. I love helping other people, especially you guys, because you are the most imprtant to me.", was his only comment to that.
I knew he meant it.
"Still...You deserve at least another hug.", I made up an excuse to wrap my arms back around him again. And he hugged me back.
But maybe that wasn't a good thing.
Maybe that absolutely awesome thing, despite feeling absolutely breathtaking, wasn't so awesome at all.

Maybe it would be better if I just let go of him. Maybe it would be better if I were to distance myself from Tyler for a little while.
Because it was at this hug and acknowledging all these feelings in my heart that I finally realized that I wanted nothing more than to be around Tyler forever and that closer than with the friendship that we had.
Now you could argue that 'Oh maybe he just wanted to be his best friend. THE BEST OF ALL, and that's why he felt this way' but I knew that wasn't the case.
I actually wanted Tyler and me to be what Mark and Amy were. We sometimes were pretty close to that to some extend, but there was always something missing.
How could I not realise that this is what I wanted all this time?

"...-than? Earth to Ethan! ", I could hear the brunette say. Oh snap, I must have spaced out!
"Are you okay? You seem worried about something. Is something wrong? Can I help you somehow", he asked concerned. I looked at him and didn't know what to say. Or do.
He seemed worried about me.
My mind was somwhow like entirely wiped out, while my heart was racing faster again. This time though probably also because of the slight fear and panic not to know what to answer, but also not wanting to lie to him.
"It's uh, I, you...know...Uhh...", I started to stutter. "Ethan, are you okay!?", he asked with widened eyes. I shook my head.
"I...no. There's something I gotta say, but if I do you're probably gonna hate me but if I don't I'm gonna hate myself.", I said quickly.
Tyler frowned at my words and only hugged me again.
" I repeat my words from earlier this day: I doubt that there is anything in this world that can make me like you less. And I don't want you to hate yourself either, so please, if you can use all your courage to tell me, I swear I'll still be your friend!", he promised, hugging me tighter. Looking down, I sighed and took a deep breath, before saying a single sentence that I thought could either ruin my life or make it a thousand times better:
" Tyler, I love you. "

Silence.
After that an awkward silence filled the room. I didn't know what Tyler was thinking,
or if he wanted to say something but either didn't know what or just couldn't get himself to, but I could feel his embrace slowly getting more and more loose.
That was a bad sign, wasn't it?
Of course he wouldn't return my love for him. Why did I even confess?
As soon as I was about to say something,
Tyler let go of me and looked me deep in the eyes. I nervously bit my lip, trying to avoid his eye contact.
"I can't be your friend anymore.", he blunted out with widened eyes. This was everything it took to shatter my world into thousand tiny pieces. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and quickly turned around so Tyler wouldn't see me crying. The brunette must have thought I wanted to leave and grabbed me by my wrist, turning me back around to him.

"I-I love you too, Ethan. And I'd love to be your boyfriend instead."