i want to kill myself
i wish i was never born
but i can't comprehend not being born, if it were another sperm instead of me
who would be here in my place
would they know my friends
would they be kind to my friends
could they have saved my one friend
i want to kill myself but i don't understand and will never understand what it's like to not exist
because life and time doesn't stop it keeps going and will keep going wether i'm here or not
i will grow old or not
i want to kill myself
but that means something
i see and feel killing myself as a way out of this hell where i exist
i want so badly to not exist but i don't understand what that is or what it's like and that scares me
killing myself is a way out
but as a way out
as i leave existence
where will i find myself?
where will that leave me
i leave this life, and existence
where do i enter
