Desperate Measures

Chapter 6 - From "D"

The Quibbler, Special Flyer, Monday, September 9, 1996

Your exclusive source for the official Harry Potter Suitor Count!

Mr. Potter has been so kind as to agree to provide our illustrious paper with an official count of his suitors on a weekly basis. Along with the count of suitors, Mr. Potter has agreed to answer a few simple questions each week so that those who might be interested can get to know a little bit about him. This week our own Mr. Xenophilius Lovegood was curious about Mr. Potter's favorite foods. Feel free to submit your own questions, though we offer no guarantee that they will be asked and/or answered.

Current Count of Suitors: 754

Favorite Drink: I actually like green tea the best. Pumpkin juice is all right, but it's sweet and I get tired of it really fast. The normal English or Irish breakfast teas are all right, too, I suppose, but what I'd really rather have is some good green tea.

Favorite Food: Strawberry and banana trifle with lots of gooey caramel. Delicious.

The remainder of the prior week had been...annoying.

He was behind on his mail, several of the teachers were being snooty, and while most of the students, for the most part, didn't bother him, some people just couldn't get over their gossipmongering tendencies or their burning desire to ask him invasive questions. Hermione, for instance, was doing just as he had thought she might, that being making his situation her own personal research project. She was forever asking questions of him, demanding information and then getting angry when he turned out to be unwilling to satisfy her curiosity. She was being constantly warned off by Neville and Lavender.

Lavender was turning out to be quite the surprise. Harry had expected to find Neville's company soothing, but Lavender? He had given it a great deal of thought on Saturday and had come to the conclusion that it might be because he knew that she was married, and happily so, to a somewhat wealthy older man that she adored. Sunday afternoon, then, he had actually sought out her company and asked if she would like to help him go through the various pieces of jewelry he had received and offer comments.

Lavender had been delighted at the request and Harry had found her comments positively invaluable. It turned out that Lavender was quite knowledgeable on the topic of jewelry. The two of them, occasionally joined by some of the other girls, had spent nearly three hours Sunday afternoon talking about the different makes, brands and styles of the bracelets and pendants that he had received. He had come away from their discussion with a much better understanding of just what it was he had received: a name brand versus a knockoff, a new piece versus something older, a mass-market reproduction versus a custom-made piece.

Lavender had been thrilled to realize that she was having a real impact on his courtship evaluations – Harry was making notations on all the appropriate files on whether he found the gift boring or impressive based on what he was learning from her – and had volunteered to sit with him for an hour every night until they had gone through all the jewelry. He had gratefully accepted and resolved to send her a very nice belated wedding present once he was mated or her marriage became public knowledge, whichever came first.

Ron was turning out to not be a surprise. The redhead was nearing the end of the deadline Harry had established in his head as to how long he was going to put up with the other boy's snit before chucking their friendship out the tower window. He didn't have time on top of everything else to try and soothe ruffled feathers, especially ones that weren't ruffled through any fault of his own, and considering that on Sunday Ron had still been an irritating loudmouth.... Well, unless a miracle had happened overnight, Harry was figuring he had one less close friend this morning.