That

CHAPTER 9: Caraphernelia

-Well, I think this is what we needed to have a full vision of all of this – We were now all sitting on the bus. Jack looked right into my eyes when I looked lost. Mark and I just told them about Jess. Jack kept talking – This is how Matt is paying That the favor – What? This didn't make sense.

-What do you mean? Jess has nothing to do with this! – I couldn't understand his point. Then Kyle's face got pale. He looked at Jack like he understood him, then he looked at me and told me something I never thought of.

-How many dead people Matt knows?

-I... I don't know. I'm pretty sure he has meet a lot, I mean, he's a cop – I tried to think but nothing came to my mind. I was blank.

­-Yeah, I know. But I mean, like people he knows. It has to be someone he can have some of their belonging. He needs that to summon the ghost, remember? C'mon Chloie, think about someone. There has to be someone...

-I don't know! The only relative that died while we dated was Ethan, but he... - NO. It can't be. He couldn't do this to me.

-But he... what? – I couldn't talk. I felt my knees failing on keeping my weight. Everything started to spin around. I cried my eyes out. This couldn't be happening. Mark grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the couch. I let my words leave my lips slowly. I didn't want to say it out loud.

-He stole it from me when he left my apartment. It was Ethan's luck hat, the one he wore the day he died. But there's no way Ethan is That. My brother was the purest soul on earth and even if he wasn't, Ethan wasn't heart broken. That day he went to Jess' to propose to her. He was happy, they loved each other. You're wrong. It has to be someone else... - I didn't believe this. It was impossible. Jasper looked at me, sad.

­-Did you ever thought about what was Ethan doing driving at 6 AM? He never proposed, YOU gave Jess the ring on Ethan's service – My head hurt. I felt my heart broke inside my chest. She broke up with him. He had a plan. He'd wake her up to see the sunrise, He'd tell her how much he loved her, and then she'd say yes. It was the perfect plan but now, I just could see it failing. I could see Ethan waking her up at 5:30 AM, probably worried about how distant she was last night. I could see him leading her to the window, while he makes sure the ring is still on his pocket, he always made sure of those things. I could see her crying, telling him she couldn't do this anymore. I could see him taking his hand out of his pocket, without the ring. He probably left in silence, his heart bleeding like it just got cut by a rose. I could see Matt calling Jess after the accident; she was on Ethan's favorites on his phone. And I could see her begging him not to tell us how heart-broken Ethan left her house. It would have killed my parents; they could never deal with Ethan leaving this world so sad. I could see Matt keeping his promise. I could see him stealing the hat the day he left and I could see him consumed by hate, looking at the hat and deciding to summon Ethan's soul.

I could see everything now and all I could do was asking me, 'How couldn't I see this before? Was I really that blind?' The thought of Ethan's shattered heart made me sink deep on a dark hole. I remembered my graduation dance, two months after Ethan's death, and how the rose cut my hand and blood fell on my dress. I cried, went outside the gym and waited for my brother to pick me up. Obviously, he never showed up. He was dead. He was gone. My heart was broken and I know now, his was too. I thought about the roses I used to leave on his grave every Sunday and the ones Matt gave me on our first date. Everything around me felt like a dying rose, sharp and putrefied. Ethan's crash was the worst thing that happened on my life. He was everything to me. He was going to be my killer too. He was That. I thought about it too. It's look. It was a terrifying and painful sight. Ethan became that. The beautiful and happy man wasn't there anymore. I remembered That's wounds, all I could think off was 'Fuck, I hope you died quickly'. You might think I'm crazy but I wanted That to bang on our window right now. I wanted to see him again, even if he was that thing now. Mark had his hand on my knee, I wanted to thank him for his love and support but the words never came out. My mouth was dry. No one was talking, I liked that. I needed peace. A soft knock on the window grabbed our attention. That was there. Ethan was back. I stood up and walked to the window. Mark tried to stop me but no one could stop me now.

"So, what if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What if I don't even want to?

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole."

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Note: I'm back! And yes, our ugly friend's actually Ethan. His death is something that really breaks my heart. You may ask why "Caraphernelia" by Pierce The Veil, well you'll see, caraphernelia is the heart-breaking disease where someone leaves you but leaves bad memories and feelings with you, sometimes represented on material things. To be honest, this is the definition of this book, the idea kind of leaded to this: Caraphernelia. Chloe's entire life is a caraphernelia with people leavening and hurting all the time. She could have never know how far Matt could go to hurt her, sadly, he went too far. 

I hope you liked the chapter, it was a hard one to write.