"언젠간 이 눈물이 멈추길 "
dear ha yoon,
i remember that day too, when we had a quiz on math. i spent all night studying and memorizing the multiplication table so that i could get a high score, a score higher than you. but stupid of me for realizing i didn't have a pen with me just when the quiz was about to start.
i had a panic attack. i didn't know what i would do. i was afraid to speak to anyone. i was afraid of talking to our very own teacher. i started overthinking things and i started to blame myself for being dumb. i was holding back my tears. silly as it seems, the smallest things make me cry. but then you handed me your extra pen.
my heart was flattered by the kindness you've shown. i felt like i was in debt in you especially when i got the highest score for that quiz. yes, i wanted to have a higher score than you, but it didn't matter after what you did for me. all that i think about was how to repay you.
that's why after class, i asked if i can walk you home. honestly, i don't know why i asked you that. i felt like that was too sudden and out of nowhere. but you said yes anyway, which made me feel relieved.
we were quiet while walking. i was too anxious and pressured cause you might think i'm the most boring person ever (which is true), but when i looked at your face, you didn't seem bored at all. you seemed happy. a smiled was gradually forming in my face when you suddenly turned to my direction. i looked at the other way as fast as i could.
"take care," i said, when we arrived at your place. i tried my best to smile and to make that smile a sincere one.
"you too." you smiled back and in that moment, i felt something i've never felt before.
love,
jungkook
