"난 다시 태어난 것만 같아 그대를 만나고부터"
dear hayoon,
"later." i remember replying you with this when you finally decided to talk things with me.
i don't know what has gotten into my mind and why i said that, but i knew that i was unsure. i wasn't sure if i was ready to talk to you. i wasn't sure about that we'll talk about. what if it'll hurt me? what if you're only going to say something that would disappoint me? i wasn't ready for that. i didn't know if i could handle it.
although it was already pretty obvious that you didn't need me anymore, it's still going to hurt hearing the words come out from your lips.
i was there.
i was there earlier than what we've talked about. you said we'll meet at 4 pm? i was there at 3:45 pm. but i wasn't there on the place we've talked about. i was a few feet away from the cherry blossom, looking at you as you wait for me.
i couldn't get my feet to move closer towards you. i let my fears and thoughts take all over me.
i was there until you got tired of waiting for me and went home. you weren't with bambam, so i decided to watch over you again until i was sure that you'll be able to go home safely.
you looked disappointed, a bit more than i do. it was my fault. and i'm sorry for being selfish and for not hearing you out. i'm sorry that i keep on pushing you away. just like what i'm doing now.
i'm sorry, hayoon. i really am.
love,
jungkook
