Finding Joy

Chapter 4

That night I ran downstairs to my Mother. My Mom heard me running and said "Baby! What's wrong?! What happened?! Where's the fire?!" I said to my Mom "Mom...I don't know what to wear tomorrow... it's my um... second day of high school... and this is important to me..." My Mom pushed the hair from her face and held her forehead. She put her other hand on her hip and said "Alright sweetie.... let's go check your closet.." We walked back upstairs. My room is a very large room. I had the space for not one but two queen sized beds. One for me and one for a guest that may come over. I also had a recliner and a love seat in my room. We walked into the my walk in closet. Most of my clothes were very repetitive.

Band hoodies, band shirts, jeans, and black black jeans. I held my head and said "Ah no." My Mom said "Relax.. it can't be that bad. I'm sure we will find something else in the other compartment." My Mom pressed a button on a remote. It opened up the back of my closet. It was separate part of my closet. It was filled with more band shirts and sweatshirts and hoodies and a entire collection of converse sneakers. I walked in and said "No no no no no no no.." I started to dig through the clothes and said "Queen.. 4 Non Blondes... Cranberries... Guns N Roses... Bon Jovi.... Madonna... ugh... Alanis Morsitte... Fall Out Boy!! Oh my goodness!!" I fell to my knees. My Mom tried to calm me down. She said "Okay.. okay.. baby whoa." She got down on the floor with me. She looked around and said "Hey Joy...  everything is fine.... you'll look great in no matter what you wear... and.... we can go shopping to get you some more clothes... if you want... would you like that?" I smiled and nodded. I gave My Mom a big hug and said "Thank you Mom... you always know what to say."

My alarm woke me up. It wasn't just a regular ring ring. The alarm played Spring by Antonio Vivaldi. I disarmed my alarm and got out of bed. I didn't even hesitate getting out of bed. I took a shower. After I took my shower I walked out of my bathroom and went to my closet. I looked around. I decided that I was just gong to wear my Guns N Roses t-shirt with my favorite pair of black jeans. I wore my favorite pair of converse sneakers and a leather hoodie. I wore my hair up in a bun. I put my headphones around my neck. I plugged my headphones into my phone.  I went back to my bathroom and brushed my teeth. I had no need to wear makeup so I put some lip gloss on my lips. I was done and ready for the day. My Mom had packed my lunch downstairs. I walked towards her and she said "You look perfect Joy.." I smiled and said "Thank you Mom." She handed me my lunch. My Dad said "Alright Joy ready for your second day?"I looked at my Dad and said "Yes sir!" My Dad smiled and laughed and said "Okay let's get in the car!" I said "Okay bye Mom!" We left the house and got in the car. We were on our way to school.

I was very excited and couldn't wait until we got there. We arrived early and I said to my Dad "Dad... thank you so much for transporting me to school." I smiled at him and he smiled back. He said "No problem honey have a wonderful day. And If the bullies try to get to you again go kick some butt!" I laughed and opened the door and said "Alright Dad see you later." I got out of the car closed the door and walked inside the school. I picked what song I wanted to listen to on my phone and headed upstairs to retrieve my supplies out of my locker. I opened my locker and put my book bag down. Elizabeth was at her locker and said "Oh good morning Joy!" I stood up and turned around. I said "Oh hi good morning Elizabeth!" I smiled at her. I turned back around and continued to put away and grab supplies.

Elizabeth was looking in her locker as she said "I really really like your name... Joy... it's just fascinating.. whenever I say it... for example... it's nice to see you Joy! It just makes me feel good!" Elizabeth laughed and I barely laughed. I smiled and felt myself starting to blush. I thought to myself "Whoa what is happening to me what am I what am I doing?!" Elizabeth walked over to me with her books and said "Hey Joy... do you want to sing with me again during lunch?" I smiled and said "Sure I'd love to! And how why don't we make this a normal thing!" Elizabeth giggled and said "Sounds good to me! See you in class!" Elizabeth started to walk away. I leaned against the lockers and sat on the floor. I held my face. I thought to myself "oh my god! What is this?! What is this feeling?! My face warms up and and my heart beats rapidly and and I get so so... wait.. is this how it feels to... like someone..." I put my hands over my mouth. I thought to myself "But she's a girl!! Ahhh!!! I'm gay!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!" I muffled myself from actually screaming. Elizabeth was walking down the hall and thought to herself "Joy I just love that name.... and she plays the piano so beautifully.... her voice is amazing.... and her lips are.... wait... that's weird... okay.... um... as I was saying... her hair is cute and if she put it down I bet it would be so long and so curly... I bet her hair is really soft... whoa!.... what was that! That was weird! Wait!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!" She thought as she walked.

I calmed myself down and put my backpack on. I stood up and closed my locker and started walking towards my first class of the day. The bell hadn't rung yet. I looked down at my watch and there was two more minutes until the bell rang to go to class. I was surprised by this and now I had to wait. I stood there waiting for the bell to ring and Elizabeth came around the corner. She was pacing back and forth and stopped when she saw me. She smiled and said "Hey Joy.. um.. just getting my steps in!" She thought to herself "Great going Elizabeth she is way too smart to believe that!!" I smiled and said "Cool cool it's better than just standing out here and waiting." I laughed nervously and said "Good thinking." I put my hand on the back of my head and thought to myself "Wow Joy seriously?! Good thinking! What the heck ah man I really hate myself right now! Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!!"The bell rang and we both thought to ourselves "Thank god for that." We both walked into the classroom and said "Good morning Ms. Adams!" Ms. Adams looked up at us and said "Good morning Elizabeth! Good morning Joy!" We both smiled at her. Ms. Adams then said "So how are you lovely ladies doing this morning?" We said at the same time "I am doing fine nothing to complain about how about you Ms. Adams?" We looked at each other and then looked away. I didn't understand how that was happening. I wanted it to stop. Ms. Adams said "Great... I'm doing great..." She was pulling up powerpoints for our class. Other students started to come in. Today was going to be a very very interesting day.