Being Okay

4. Being Judgemental

I know I shouldn't be writing right now. God, I shouldn't even be here. But I had to write this. No, NEEDED to write this.

Warning : There are mentions of depression and self-harm. So, if that's something you're not comfortable with, or can trigger you, you can skip this one.

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'Stop being such a cry-baby.'

'You're not the only one with problems.'

'Get over it.'

There is no dearth of unsolicited advisors in this world, but there is a huge dearth of empathisers. Because it's easier to tell people to get over it than to help them get over it.

Can we EVER know the pain people hide behind their plastic smiles and lifeless eyes? Have we tried?

Every grieving soul has a broken heart. Some have lost their close ones, some have been abandoned. Some have been bullied, some have been molested, some have been raped. Some have loved and lost, some have never loved and some have never been loved. Some have hated and some have only been hated.

Whose pain is greater? How do we measure it? Whom do we feel more sorry for? Whom do we empathise more with? Everyone's own pain is the biggest and most burdensome to them. Unfortunately, there are no pain tranquilizers for the matters of the heart, but there are many who trivialize others' pain heartlessly.

Everyone deals with pain differently. Some fight back, some build defence mechanisms, some switch to self-denial mode, some become depressed, some become suicidal. This is because everyone has different 'Emotional Quotients'(EQ). And, we need to be sensitive so as to not hurt the sentiments of the already hurt.

'Stop crying over a girl, man! There are plenty of fish in the sea.'

What right does anyone have to compare someone's loved one to a fish? A fucking FISH?

Perhaps he was the fish and she was the water he swam in to stay alive.

You don't get to decide what to feel, how to feel, how much to feel or for whom to feel, for anyone.

Before you tell anyone to get over it, get over yourself. You can judge all you want, but keep the fucking judgement to yourself. Rubbing salt over someone's wounds isn't the best thing to do.

If you can't empathise, don't sympathise. Don't patronise, don't trivialise and most importantly, don't fucking advise.

Because last time I checked, being considerate never killed anyone.

Mukta out.